~embracing my struggle~

you must do the thing you think you cannot do  ~ eleanor roosevelt

i fight a battle daily

a fight i’ve fought for years, most of my life infact.  i’m learning, slowly, how to take control over something that has controlled me for years.  i’ve been at it for a year and i still have soooooo much to learn!

it’s no secret, this fight is hard

and believe me, i struggle with it daily.  especially right now as i’ve hit my plateu and haven’t lost for a few weeks.  i look in the mirror and think “is THIS it, is this REALLY where i’m going to be forever?”.  i have to admit, i get discouraged.  i get discouraged and immediately my brain wants to throw me back into the cycle.  the vicious cycle most of us know…your fat which makes you depressed so you eat to comfort yourself which, in turn, makes you fatter. 

the choice is mine

i’ve learned this over the past year.  i can embrace my struggle or i can run from it.  i spent so many years turning around and running from it as fast as i could.  i would think “i didn’t lose this week so why keep trying” and i would run…straight to the cupboard and grab a bag of chips.  obviously, that way of thinking doens’t work.  now when i see i haven’t lost any i take a deep breath and think about what i could change about my diet or exercise in the following week to hopefully see a loss on the scale. 

i’ve heard it said

that although people can advise us on what to do, this is a fight we must fight alone.  i can tell you, if i had to fight this alone i would lose.  i know that every single day the Lord is on my side.  i know that everyday in every circumstance He is already there.

the picture on the left was taken october, 2008…the picture on the right is december, 2009…