Right before we were to head on our walk, a car issue happened that was less than ideal. Although he had lots of car work ahead of him, he still agreed to walk with me. As we set off, the tone of the walk quickly changed.
He was stressed, I got it. The more steps we took and the further we walked, the more bitter words were exchanged. Hurtful, cutting-to-the-bone words were exchanged. Eventually, he turned around and went back, leaving me to finish the walk myself.
I’m not going to lie, I spent the first few moments alone stewing. But then something happened, something that left me reeling. God said “give it to me”.
Now if you know me, you know I am one grudge-holding, stubborn girl. So for me to give up an argument is crazy talk! Almost instantly, a song came to mind.
He’s able
He’s able
I know He’s able
I know my Lord is able to carry me through
With that song ringing in my head, the remaining bit of my walk with filled with singing and praying. I chose respect, humbleness and kindness rather than anger, bitterness and harsh words.
The closer I got to home, the more nervous I became. I didn’t want to fight. I didn’t want what had just happened to repeat itself again. I could see him under the hood of the car. For a quick moment I thought of scurrying past him and just going inside. But God had a different plan. I could sense the tension as I walked closer to the vehicle. I walked right up to him and, in my kindest humble voice asked if there was anything I could do to help.
That simple sentence changed the atmosphere. I could see his face soften. I could feel his sadness over hurtful words said. I could watch the outcome be rewritten before me.
I chose respect.
I chose to give respect a chance because I am a Christian and try (emphasis on try) to follow the Bible’s teachings on how to live. An attitude of disrespect cuts into a man’s heart like a knife and twists the blade far beyond the moments of meanness from his wife.
I am learning to hate the way it feels to tear down my husband’s spirit, though I still catch myself in acts of disrespect at times. As I grow in my love for my husband, and God continues to humble me more and more each day, I am able to see the destruction more clearly and run from it.
Jessica Jean-Marie
Girl, I always love what you have to say when it comes to marriage! You always hit the nail on the head. Thanks for being so honest. I, too, deal with this (I think we all do, really). Thank God, He gives us the strength and ability to choose to be gracious, humble & respectful to our husbands!
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