Before Saying I Do

It’s no secret, we rushed to get married.  Hello…met in February, engaged in March and married in June.  If that’s not rushing, I don’t know what is.  But we didn’t get married for the reason most thought.  We simply were ready for our happily ever after to begin.  Oh, how naively we went into marriage.

Marriage is amazing and I love it, but it’s nothing like I thought it would be. Lately, I’ve been thinking of what I wish I had known before I got married. Things that would have made it easier to avoid some of our mistakes and to not fall into the traps couples so often do. Marriage introduces challenges that couples just simply aren’t prepared for.

Marriage is not about living happily ever after – If we were honest, we all crave a fairy-tale and a happy ending.  I know I sure did. The problem isn’t wanting a fairy-tale romance but trying to compare your marriage and your spouse to those whirlwind romances in the movies. Open your heart up to Gods love first and He will show you how to truly love your husband without unreal expectations.

Marriage is not all about you – That’s a hard lesson to learn, isn’t it?  Contrary to what the world tells you, it’s not about your happiness. It’s not about getting your needs met. It’s about going through life together and serving God and each other. It’s about committing yourselves to each other, even though you may be different people in the years to come.

The more you put into your marriage, the more you’ll get out of it – Marriage takes a lot of work and time, there is no doubt about that. Realize that straight away and commit to it. Go into marriage knowing your not going to  have a 50/50 marriage, but a 100/100 marriage.  Give your all because you love them, not because you expect something in return.

You can’t do it on your own – Marriage is difficult. That is obvious when you see how many couples end in divorce. It’s two imperfect people living together, failing daily.  The only way to make your marriage truly work is to center it on Christ. God intended marriage to mirror His relationship with the church so that we could basically be a testimony to others and SHOW them what God is like. You have to rely on God for wisdom, power, love and strength for your marriage.

Make time for each other a priority – Make any time together into a mini-date. Whether it is running to the grocery store or a quick little ride on the 4-wheeler together. Snuggle in, hold hands and make that time together count.