18 years ago I married my best friend, my perfectly perfect soul mate. This wild and crazy man could make me laugh by doing nothing. There isn’t anyone else I would rather grow old with. So many people boldly told us that we would never last more than 6 months to a year and here we are, 18 years later, more in love than ever. We’ve had our ups and downs but fought for what was important to us, our marriage.
And with that, I give you 18 things God has taught me in 18 amazingly wonderful years of marriage.
1. It’s not all about me. That’s a hard lesson to learn, isn’t it? Contrary to what the world tells you, it’s not about your happiness. It’s not about getting your needs met. It’s about going through life together and serving God and each other. It’s about committing yourselves to each other, even though you may be different people in the years to come.
2. It’s worth fighting for. I know that it is not always easy, but it is always worth it. I’m thankful for a strong marriage. It saddens me to see how many people don’t fight for it, they just give up and walk away. Goodness, Joe and I both could have walked away a trillion times by now. But we staid, fought and allowed God to script our love story.
3. Marriage is not about living happily ever after. If we were honest, we all crave a fairy-tale and a happy ending. I know I sure did. The problem isn’t wanting a fairy-tale romance but trying to compare your marriage and your spouse to those whirlwind romances in the movies. Open your heart up to Gods love first and He will show you how to truly love your husband without unreal expectations.
6. Most fights are over stupid things. Honestly, stupid things that don’t really even matter. I always think of what a dear friend told me once…in light of eternity, is that even important? When I was younger {okay, and even sometimes now} I always wanted to prove my point and have the last word. Not one of my most endearing qualities. I’ve learned it’s more important to prove your love than your point. You do that by not arguing over stupid things.
8. Sex is important. No, it’s not everything, but God designed sex and marriage to go hand in hand. God intended sex to create a oneness within our marriage. We don’t want to feel deprived and neither do our spouses. Remember “What God has joined together, let no one separate”.
9. Make time for each other a priority. Make any time together into a mini-date. Whether it is running to the grocery store or a quick little ride on the 4-wheeler together. Snuggle in, hold hands and make that time together count.
11. Never go to bed angry. I know we’ve all heard that one before but it sure is true! I know when you’re in the heat of an argument {see #6} that last thing you feel like doing is either saying you’re sorry. But snuggle in, embrace your forgiving heart and say “we can’t agree, but we can forgive”.
17. Marriage is about the glory of God. Contrary to popular belief, marriage isn’t all about our own personal happiness. God intended marriage to mirror His relationship with the church so that we could basically be a testimony to others and SHOW them what God is like. Your marriage, your covenant-keeping love, will be your greatest witness of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
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