I stood at the window, watching the leaves fall from the trees. A gust of wind came, blowing the leaves. First this way then the other. They had nearly kissed the ground, now they are soaring through the air while twisting and turning. The leaves can’t seem to find a solid place to land.
This is how life feels at times.
Overwhelming. Blowing this way then the other, just looking for your solid place to land.
For the past two months my heart has been overwhelmed and craving a solid place to land. It felt as if everything was blowing and changing around me, preventing me from landing.
Time and time again I tried to put my feet down and land. Not realizing the power wasn’t in me to change it, but in Him.
My health has been on what feels like a roller coaster ride and it has taken most of my energy with it. And it is easy in these moments of hard to get overwhelmed. To wonder where the energy for the next moment will come from. It’s easy to let the pain of today and the unknown of tomorrow take what energy is there and waste it away.
I can’t help but think about Jesus when he was in Gethsemane just before His arrest, trial, and crucifixion. It was easy for Him to be overwhelmed, too, despite knowing and believing in and loving His Father. My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death, He said to His disciples. He fell to the ground and prayed.
And then I remember that even though He did get overwhelmed, even though He did ask for the cup to be taken from Him, He did something else in the middle of it all that night. He gave thanks.
David also dealt with the feeling of being overwhelmed. In Psalm 61:2-3 David said From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy. David prayed and then remembered the past goodness of God.
I’ve realized this season in my life, as every past season, is necessary. In the necessary, I need to give thanks and remember the goodness of God. He has a specific reason for every part of our journey. The whole only comes after broken. Healing only comes after wounds.
I am embracing unknown. That in itself is a ridiculous statement. I’m Amy, the girl that gets all twitchy, cranky and nervous at the thought of giving up the known for the unknown. Which confirms again, it’s not me but all Him. For the first time in months, I feel grounded and centered. I know in my heart that I am exactly where He wants me to be. And that, my friends, is an amazing feeling. A feeling that is so welcomed!
2 Corinthians 4:7
For some reason, I’ve always been drawn to this verse. I always thought the jars of clay reference was beautiful, but I didn’t fully understand it. In my mind, keeping treasure in a jar of clay was an odd place. Clay pots are fragile and easily broken. When I looked at the clay pots I have they are full of flaws, chips and cracks.
That’s when I got it.
We are simply empty jars of clay, fragile and full of flaws. Until we have God. Then kept inside that broken, fragile, ordinary jar of clay is a treasure, a priceless treasure of immeasurable worth!
Isaiah 64:8
As we travel through this messy, unsettled, always changing, sometimes really hard and overwhelming journey of life, God gives us the choice to become clay in His hands. I am so thankful that He loves us so much that He gently molds us and makes us into a vessel of honor. We can come to Him with our cracks and brokenness and He will meet us right where we are and love us. He will transform something beautiful out of our messy life.
Today, I’m giving thanks because I trust that He is making beauty in places my eyes can’t see. He is molding me in ways I don’t even know about yet. He is showering me with His amazing grace. He can see into the deepest depths of my overwhelmed heart, He is holding it in His hands and He knows exactly what it will take to restore Hope into it.
And I am taking my thankfulness and I am sharing it with all of you.
This is AWESOME… I loved reading…we don’t realize that others are suffering with being overwhelmed…thank you for sharing…thank you for your beautiful words!!!!