What Does Kindness Look Like

Kindness, so powerful yet so underused.

Kindness is defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.  How would you describe kindness in your own words?  Friendly, generous, warm-hearted, soft-spoken; these are all words I would associate with being kind.

This is my Father.  When I think of kindness, I would imagine his face might be in the dictionary beside it.  To him, kindness is a way of life.

Throughout my lifetime, my Dads kind gentle spirit has always been shown both inside and outside of our home.  He is one of the only people I know that can find good in any situation and in any person.  If he had heard someone say something unkind to him, his response was always the same.  They didn’t mean it that way.  If he would hear me saying something unkind, he would always remind me that we are Christians, and God doesn’t want us to be unkind.  If someone stole from him, he would brush it off by saying they must need it more than I do.

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32

He will firmly shake every mans hand and then pat them on the back.  He will give a warm hug to the women.  In every restaurant you take him to, he will undoubtedly hug the waitress and go to the kitchen to thank the cooks for making him such a good meal.  He will thank the coworkers of his grandchildren for being so kind to them and treating them well.  He will hug the nurses to thank them, and shake the doctors hand while telling him he’s the best doctor around.  He will wave at every single car that drives past the house.

He is a giver.  Throughout my lifetime I’ve watched him help everyone.  There were times I thought the people didn’t deserve his help and I would voice that.  He would quickly remind me that as Christians, we are told to help people in need.  He helped a lot of people…little things, big things, time-consuming things and expensive things.  One time in particular sticks out in my mind.  A newly single mother from town wanted to take her kids to the lake.  She didn’t have the money for the entrance fee.  She stopped at our house and asked my Dad if he had a few dollars to spare.  While I stood there shocked of her asking, my Dad quickly pulled out his wallet and gave her the entrance fee and money to get them something to eat.  He quietly taught me an important life lesson in that moment.

You will never see him without a smile on his face or hear him utter a single unkind word about someone.

Over the years time and age hasn’t been kind to him, although you would never know it.  He’s nearly 75% deaf and can only hear if it’s loud.  If there is background noise he can’t make out anything.  He’s also completely blind in one eye and nearly blind in the other.

He faithfully carried his Bible to church every Sunday.  He couldn’t read the writing in it but carried it to be a testimony to others.

He loves greeting others, although his words may be loud (because he’s deaf).  He loves shaking everyone’s hand, although it may be harder than normal (because his hands have no feeling).  He loves talking to others, although he may have to stand a little closer (because he’s blind).

The world is a cruel place.  Compassion has been reframed as gullibility.  To be kind is, after all, to be vulnerable.  We interpret small acts of random kindness as suspect–as a repressed need to be recognized, as a sign of an overly submissive nature or even as a symptom of mental illness.  Kindness is seen as weakness and weirdness.  Others may think little acts of kindness are frivolous and unimportant.

My fathers motives would undoubtedly be questioned by the world.  He would be side-eyed and whispered about.  And that, my friends, breaks my heart more than you know.  We have a serious, sad problem when an 82-year-old mans kindness is viewed that way.

Kindness is a fruit of the spirit.  Like the other fruits of the spirit, it can only be obtained through abiding in Christ.  It is an outgrowth of the genuineness of our faith.  According to the Zondervan NIV Bible Commentary, the Greek word translated kindness here is “the divine kindness out of which God acts toward humankind. It is what the [Old Testament] means when it declares that ‘God is good,’ as it so frequently does. Christians should show kindness by behaving toward others as God has behaved toward them.”

Kindness is humbly giving of ourselves in love and mercy to others who may not be able to give anything back, who sometimes don’t deserve it and who frequently don’t thank us for it.

We are called to be kind to others because God is kind to us.  He loves us when we are unlovable, and He does this over and over again.  Kindness is extremely powerful.  You can change lives with your actions.  You can change lives by your words.  You can change lives with your kindness.  You can change lives by allowing Christ’s love to shine through you.  I’ve watched my Father do all of those things.

Don’t ever be afraid to show your kindness.  You might be the one voice in their life at the moment that they need to hear.  Your encouragement might be the one thing that keeps them going.  Maybe you are the one who is to help them see Jesus.