Why I’m Not Raising A Feminist Daughter

I’m a wife, Mama, daughter, sister, friend, blogger, business owner and former feminist.

My Dad always told me I could do anything, whether it be putting shingles on a roof, putting a universal joint in his ’69 Chevy or dragging out the acetylene tanks and welding.  I don’t blame this on my Daddy, he had GREAT intentions.  And I’m so thankful of the knowledge he taught me.

I’m the one who took it and turned it into a heart issue.

I grew up thinking I could do anything that a man could do.  And if a man told me I couldn’t do it, I would make sure to prove him wrong.  I wanted to be viewed as strong and independent.  I even took the words “honor and obey” out of my vows.  No one was going to control me, especially not my husband.

And then I became a Mama.

As my babies were growing up, I realized I couldn’t align myself with feminism anymore.  Their message is the opposite of what I was teaching my kids.  Not to mention that feminism, and refusing to be submissive, was taking a toll on my marriage.

At that point I decided I wouldn’t raise my daughter, nor my son, to be a feminist.  And through prayer, I spent lots of time reevaluating my views.

I’m teaching my daughter modesty, they feel it’s patriarchy. I’m teaching my son to be a gentleman, they feel it’s benevolent sexism. I’m teaching my daughter to be submissive to her husband, they feel that’s degrading. I’m teaching my son to be hard-working and provide for his family, they feel that they can provide for themselves. I’m teaching my daughter purity, they feel your body is yours to do with what you please. I’m teaching my son to treat his wife like a princess, they feel that’s offensive.

I simply cannot align myself with a message that has morphed into something accusatory, degrading, offensive and opposed to the morals and messages I am teaching my kids.

I have an amazing husband.  I have a son.  I have a father.  I am truly blessed with the men in my life.  It breaks my heart to know they, along with so many other godly men, would be lumped into a category of oppressive patriarchy.

Feminism today is less about equality and more about emasculating men.

You can’t rise yourself up by pushing others down.  You can’t solve social injustice by swinging the scale to the far opposite side.  That, my friends, is revenge and not justice.

I’m actually super excited we are raising our littles the way we are, the opposite of how the world would have them raised.  I want my son to be chivalrous, to open doors and carry heavy loads.  I want my daughter to be told she’s beautiful.  I want my son to take his fiance out on a date and pay the bill without expecting anything in return.  I want my daughter to know she can depend on her husband.  I want my littles to know the beauty of a Christ-centered marriage.  I want them to love everyone, treat everyone equally with kindness and show them the love of Jesus through their actions.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2

The recent feminist campaigns are so degrading, I can’t help but feel they lost their direction among the shuffle of finding issues to fight for.  Their messages come across so crass and offensive, it actually muddies the water and their direction is no longer clear.

With God, we have clear direction.  We have a perfect owners manual for life in the Bible.  And in the Bible we see that while we are created equal, we were given specific roles.  To read a post I made on these roles, you can click here to read more about it.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Ephesians 5:23-25

We don’t need more causes to follow, we simply need more Jesus.

I recently came across something that baffled me and shook me to my core, feminist Christians.  Their strong opinions left my head reeling.  It’s creating quite a divide among Christians.  They don’t believe in biblical gender roles, submission or mamas staying at home.  If you support any of those things you’re labeled as legalistic, brainwashed, oppressed, lead astray, uneducated or delusional.  I was shocked, to say the least, at the disrespect they showed towards men and how easily they belittled them.

I just caution you to beware of the teachings you follow.  It’s so easy to be lead astray by ministries that seem to be flashy and pretty on the outside.  It’s not until you delve deeper that you find their core belief system is skewed.

But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. 2 And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. 3 And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.
2 Peter 2:1-3

And that my friends is why we are teaching submission, headship and living a Christ-centered marriage.  While it might not be the worlds opinion, we are following Gods word.  That will bring joy, peace, contentment, fulfillment and freedom!  And in turn, your life will bring glory to God.  Isn’t that what it’s all about?