Why I’m Thankful We Married Young

We are no strangers to storybook romance.  Marrying at 20 and 22, we are blessed to be familiar with this form of love – love as a falling and a pursuit and a passion.  We were introduced for the first time on a cold February evening, bundled up as we stood outside while snow gently fell around us.  We stood there with our cherry-red noses, enamored with each other.

One month later we were engaged.

We were met with opposition the moment he asked me to marry him.  At 20 most people still consider you to be a child, not yet an adult, and surely too young to consider marriage.

But we disagreed. We were ready, we felt called, we wanted more.

We were married three months after that, with vows breathed in the little country church I was born into.

We heard many opinions on our young, fast marriage.  Why would you get married so soon?  So young?  It won’t last longer than 6 months.  I bet you’re pregnant.  You are still kids, live your life first.

Our modern culture simply doesn’t understand why someone would get married so young and so fast (or have babies before 30 for that matter!).

Oh how thankful I am to have spent such sweet, formative years with my one and only.  How grateful I am that we knew back then that this was IT — that love is a covenant and you choose to love every day.  Love is what you do.  We set our love upon one another, and that love has only deepened, matured and strengthened over the years.

Maybe my husband and I were in the minority. We probably were.  But we went into marriage understanding that love is a choice and marriage takes work, and lots of it.

My husband is my best friend, my greatest supporter, a great leader for our family, a pillar of character and integrity, a hard-working provider, a man with a heart after God, and a servant-hearted and compassionate soul. He is amazing, and I’m totally smitten with him!

Here are some reasons why marrying young is worth it:

By marrying young we’ve essentially grown up together.  As people we constantly change and evolve, but by marrying young, we’ve been able to do that together.  As we grow through different seasons, we are able to lean on one another and we are able to enjoy the process a bit more because our best friend is by our side. This is something I will totally cherish forever, and these moments draw us closer together.

We hadn’t figured out what we wanted in a house, or how I wanted to organize a kitchen, or how we wanted to pay bills.  But you can grow up and make those decisions together, and it’s kinda fun!  We just figured it out ourselves. And because we hadn’t had our own routines for so many of these things, it wasn’t hard to merge.  Marriage has caused us to become more responsible.  As young, married 20-somethings, we went from working our first job to parents to home owners and more.  All before we turned 30.   Certainly there have been bumps in the road, but we’ve gone through them and grown because of them, and we’ve done it together.  I grew up with my best friend by my side.

I’ve never had to be alone.  I never have to live on my own.  I always have someone to come home to, someone I can snuggle with, someone who will encourage me when I am down. I always have a date for weddings, a movie buddy, someone to cook me dinner when I’m too exhausted, to tuck me in when I am sick, to binge watch TV shows with.  I always have my forever boyfriend by my side.

We’ve also grown as Christians.  Marriage has a way of sanctifying you.  This bull-headed, quick tempered, often selfish girl had to learn quickly.  Over the years God has softened and shaped my heart. He has opened my eyes and shown me so many ways that I need to do some hard, heart-work.  I’ve had to learn to handle conflict more humbly with both my heart, my actions and my words.  I’ve had to learn to put my pride aside and continue to learn to really apologize.  Selfishness is constantly being chipped away as we work to put the other’s needs first.

We had babies young as well.  And while not everyone would consider this a benefit to marrying young, we sure do!  Parenting caused us to grow, stretch, lean on each other, be responsible and have a greater grasp on what to really value in life.  The babies, who are now young adults, have brought so much joy and laughter into our home.  I can honestly say we had a great time raising them.  And when those babies move out of the house, we’ll still be in our mid-40s.  And though we’ll miss them, and I’m sure I’ll cry lots of empty nest Mama tears, we’re ready to travel and focus on each other.  We’re still young and we’re still energetic.