Reconciling Love

{It is with such pleasure that I introduce today’s guest blog writer, Jim.  And today we have the pleasure of hearing about marriage from a husbands perspective. He reached out to me recently and was interested in being a guest blogger, I jumped at the opportunity!  His heart for Jesus is evident as you read his post.  Please give a warm Forever Beloved welcome to Jim!  Show him how much you appreciate this post by sharing and commenting!}

So, my first attempt at a blog. Hmm. I volunteered because I have a few things that consume my mind. Things that matter, to me anyway. What I have learned is sometimes through out hurt we become aware and empathetic to others who are suffering in situations similar to what we have been through.

So my first blog is about that. I’ll never forget it. We had gotten to a point where we didn’t communicate. Sitting across the room from one another I got the message “I don’t love you anymore”. Things had escalated. I knew she had a coworker who knew no boundaries and he was pursuing her. Sound familiar? Or close? I did a whole lot of finger pointing, yelling, swearing and acting like a total jerk. By the time reality set in, winning her heart back wasn’t happening.

We spent months in the same house, separated, not speaking unless it was about the boys. Yes boys! Three casualties of our lack of communication and selfishness.

So let me say this. As bad as things were, when separation and looming divorce comes you realize that when the Bible says in marriage two hearts a joined, THEY ARE. Because when the separation comes it starts to tear those joined hearts apart. It wrecked me and it hurt! I had always sworn I wouldn’t divorce.

Now separated, still married but in different homes. We gave up. And started doing things OUR way.

New relationships and partners with kids. Just causing more of a mental mess. Mind you, we were still married but just acting single. I finally gave up on that. I kept talking to God, I was attending a program called Divorce Care, which is amazing I might add!

God kept placing us in situations where we were together for periods of time. But we would return to our separate homes. I felt I knew what He was trying to tell me, but I kept refusing to listen because I was harboring unforgiveness. Even thought I kept praying His will, I was denying to allow it.

I was doing a little better financially and decided to put my race car back together. I was in the car struggling to get a part together when she came to pick the boys up. And she helped me get the part together. I completely believe this was a God moment. It put something in my heart.

I allowed my heart open.

During our middle sons birthday we were still separated. But I asked her to go to dinner with us. It wasn’t long after we were just texting and I just asked “Do you ever think about moving back home?!” and the answer was “Yes”! God was working in both of us. It’s not easy. Really no marriage, how great or bad, is ever easy all the time.

Sometimes the biggest thing that’s in the way of reconciling is ourselves.

Peace and Love! Jim

I’m Jim Bloom, a 45 years old husband to Renae and father three awesome boys…Caleb, Noah and Josh. I’m a self employed Graphic Designer / Signs and Vehicle Graphics.

We love to fish and hang out and torment one another. I play a little bass and rhythm guitar and try to sing now and then at Tri Country Church. My biggest hobby is racing. I drive and work on my own dirt street stock. Friday and Saturday summer nights are usually spent at the track.