She told me her heart aches for me, like deep down inside of her, where the winds howl and moan.
It makes me take a step back and catch my breath.
Though I have admittingly been through trials, oddly enough to me, the one trudging through the valleys, they had never hit me as gut-wrenchingly hard as her words just had.
And I tell her that there are always hard things howling through the rhythms of life. Hard things that build the framework for our prayers.
This messy life, the one I daily live and only partly share, is undoubtedly hard.
For someone looking in through the windows of our house, the hard would create a deep heart ache.
It’s been physically, emotionally and mentally difficult. I’ve lost friendships. I’ve lost my job. It has changed my appearance and it has changed who I am as a person. It has changed my marriage. It has caused my children to have to really think hard to remember what life was like before Mama was sick and they’ve had to grow up faster than they should.
But for me, looking out through these windows into a world with much deeper hurt and pain than I experience, my mess feels like an enormous blessing.
If I spent my days focusing on the hard and the messy, as easy as that would be, what would I gain? It would suck every ounce of joy from my being, replace it with despair. It would settle me into a place where the howling, moaning winds would toss me around like a rag doll. The numbered list of blessings would turn into an enormous list of every hardship I’ve ever faced.
The only way out was to look up. I knew I had to. I needed to see something beyond what my eyes told me. So I look for Jesus, often.
I have found so much joy in celebrating my mess, there isn’t anything I would change.
I choose to celebrate my mess. And celebrate the extravagant grace of Christ. I keep my eyes on Jesus and His perfect sacrifice – because my life is a far cry from perfect.
In the darkest places, I found Him there with me. Speaking to my heart. Speaking life into the hurt places. I’ve learned what it’s like to seek joy and find it. I’ve learned that even in the hard times, He gives us enormous blessings. I’ve learned joy doesn’t come and go with our circumstances. But joy can be experienced despite our circumstances. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, second only to love, it flows from God, not circumstances. We have a fundamental need for joy in our lives. Life without joy is overwhelming, depressing and just plain sad.
The tired Mamas, the hurt wife, the discouraged Pastor, the heartbroken friend, the ashamed sinners, the chronically sick and so many more – we are the ones who get to celebrate the grace of a sovereign Redeemer!
Christ invites us to celebrate not because we’ve got it all together, Lord knows I’m a hot mess most days,but because He’s finished it all at the Cross! Celebrating our mess doesn’t mean we’ve gotten it all right, but we’ve received His Grace.
God often uses the hard to refine us. To transform us into the person we were created to be in the first place. More like Him.
And with that we can dance in the wild rain of grace!
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