I have been married to my sweet man for 24 years. I have been married to him for more than half my life. And I will admit, I’m still trying to figure out how men receive respect as love. Sometimes I get it completely wrong. And occasionally I feel like they should receive food as love.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that I can cook for him all the live long day but if I am not respecting him then in his eyes I’m not loving him.
As wives, we have incredible power in the lives of our husbands. We have the power to build them up, or tear them down.
As wives, we love to feel loved and be romanced. But for our husbands, they love to feel respected and to know we believe in them. And I can assure you that feeling doesn’t come from a loaf of hot, homemade bread and potato soup. Believe me, I’ve tried.
Our men need to know that they are enough just as they are, and they are exactly what we desire.
Each time you give your husband a loving word of praise, you are valuing him. He will feel treasured, adored, loved and he will thrive. But something even more amazing happens – when you verbally appreciate your spouse with sincerity, his value goes up in your eyes, too. You see him the way you are describing him and he becomes more and more valuable to you. It is a win-win situation. With more words of affirmation, love grows. And when you speak of your love for one another, it increases your intimacy. Um, hello smokin’ hot marriage! When his woman is behind him, he will be able to take on the world. Side-note: I would bet when you shower him with praise, affirmation and kind words…you’ll get the same in return!
Actions speak louder than words, we all know that. I know my actions speak love to him. Whether it’s me spending hours in the kitchen cooking his favorite meal, jumping in and helping him with a job or being interested in something he is passionate about. But it’s also vitally important to also speak it.
And ladies, I encourage you to praise him in front of your kids. First of all, remember your kids are learning what marriage looks like by watching you. They sure do need to see that their Mama appreciates and respects their Dad. It means backing him up when he’s made a decision (even if you don’t agree), it means not making a decision without talking to him first and it means speaking good about him even when he isn’t around. We need to teach our littles to appreciate how hard their Dads work to support and lead our households!
In Ephesians 5:33 we are told Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. I’ve read this verse over and over again. It doesn’t say respect your husband only when you feel he deserves it, it doesn’t say he has to GIVE respect to GET respect and it’s certainly not up to us to deem when he is worthy of it. God was pretty clear with this verse, the wife MUST respect her husband. Period. (Unless there is a Biblically moral issue at stake in which God’s authority will supersede our husbands).
Just a little side-note, it takes thirteen compliments to replace one negative comment. Keep that tucked in the back of your mind when you’re hoppin’ mad at him and thinking of saying something rude or tearing him down.
Let’s help him take on the world today girls. Here are some words of encouragement you can speak into your marriage and your mans heart today.
- Thank you for loving me.
- I am so glad to have you as my husband.
- I love that look you give me.
- I trust you.
- I am such a different woman because of you.
- Is there anything I can help you with?
- Thank you for being such a great husband.
- What is your opinion on this?
- Thank you for always being honest.
- You’re my favorite.
- Thank you for being faithful.
- I’m sorry, will you forgive me?
- I love holding your hand while we pray.
- Thank you for leading our home so well.
- You’re so cute/hot/sexy.
- I’m glad you’re my best friend.
- Hey, the kids are in bed early.
- I trust your judgement.
- You are such a great Dad.
- Those jeans and boots are so sexy on you.
- Thank you for trusting me.
- You can do anything you set your mind to.
- I’m so excited to do life alongside you.
- Thank you for working so hard for our family.
- Last night was amazing.
- You give the best hugs.
- I love how safe I feel with you.
- I’m so glad you’re my man.
- I am so incredibly proud of you.
- Thank you for helping me today, I couldn’t have done it without you.
- I absolutely adore your heart.
- I love spending time with you.
- Thank you so much for doing that for me.
- God knew my heart needed you.
- I can’t stop thinking about you today.
- You are so brave and strong.
- I appreciate you being so patient with me, I know it’s not easy.
- I have loved watching you grow in your walk with God.
- Your eyes are so sexy.
- Is there anything special you’d like me to cook for you?
- Thank you for making me feel beautiful.
- How about a kiss?
- Thank you for always supporting my dreams.
- In your arms is my favorite place to be.
- I know that was hard for you, you did it so well!
- Say please and thank you to him.
- You have such great integrity.
- I am more in love with you than ever.
- I love holding your hand.
- Our kids are sure blessed to have you as their Dad.
- I appreciate you putting our family first.
- I can’t wait to see you after work, I’ve missed you.
- You still take my breath away.
- You are exactly what I asked God for.
- I love you so much.
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