This is a day that I dread and one that makes me cringe every single year. A day where I try my very best to stay away from all social media. As many of you know, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. And October 13 has been deemed national No Bra Day or Free the TaTas.
I am the daughter of a woman who not only fought breast cancer but won that fight. Not only one fight, but multiple fights. Her fight spanned across many years, each one being tough in it’s own way. From 1981 through 1989 she battled and fought. And throughout it all, she only asked God for one thing…to allow her to live long enough to raise her daughter.
From her perspective, those years had to be frightening. The first surgery she had in 1981, she nearly lost her life. The cancer was more advanced than they first anticipated, and a partial mastectomy had to be performed. The next battle resulted in a complete mastectomy. And the last battle included chemo and radiation.
When she first found out she had cancer, I was only six years old. I can remember playing with the neighbor kids and waving to her as my Grandpa took her to the hospital for her first surgery. I can remember hearing whispers of her condition when I was around. I can remember crying, because I just wanted my Mama home. I can remember the look on her face the first time she showed me her changed body riddled with staples. I can remember the nights she spent sick from chemo and radiation. The days her stomach would only allow her to eat rice. And the morning I found her passed out on the floor because her white blood cell count had dropped.
The intent of this post isn’t to gain sympathy, but rather to give you a glimpse of what the reality of breast cancer is.
Her and I have had many, many discussions about No Bra Day and Free the Tatas. And to a breast cancer survivor, to a woman who fought to live so she could raise her daughter, to a woman that spent many days sick from radiation and chemo, these campaigns are completely offensive.
This is a great post from a survivor and I think sums up most of their thoughts on this:
The thought of seeing bra-less women flaunting two body parts that I have lost to cancer — more than I already see this on a regular day — does not feel all that supportive. In fact, it feels quite the opposite
And as my Mama said:
It’s as much as them saying “Look, I have them and you don’t.”
I don’t understand how a day where women are encouraged to share photos of their braless breasts is to be “supportive” for women who are living with or who have died from breast cancer, or who have managed to ‘complete’ the arduous treatments and disfiguring surgeries required to put them into remission.
Answer this question: What does taking that bra off do? Does it bring research, awareness or education?
National No Bra Day was started in July of 2011 by Anastasia M. Doughnuts. It was started through a Facebook event page and had 400,000 supporters. It was so successful that it was repeated the following July. Then someone had the bright idea to have a second No Bra Day annually on October 13th to piggyback on Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The event page on Facebook for No Bra Day is quite clear in that the occasion is meant to celebrate breasts. It doesn’t even mention breast cancer until the very last paragraph by stating “Breast Cancer is something you should take seriously and be checked for”.
This day, which many buy into, is nothing more than sexualizing breast cancer. It’s sexualized by the slang used such as “Save 2nd base”, “Feel your boobies” and “Save the ta-tas”. It’s sexualized by the provocative imagery used to raise funds and visibility. It’s sexualized in the names of organizations created to promote breast cancer awareness, such as Coppafeel and Boobstagram. It’s sexualized by social media users who use the campaign as a guise to post pictures of themselves topless with no intention of promoting breast cancer awareness or donating to research charities. We’ve sexualized breast cancer so much that a popular porn site has even decided to cash in on it, donating a penny to charity for every 30 “boob-themed videos” watched.
And that, my friends, is disgustingly sad.
Breast cancer isn’t sexy, it’s devastating.
It’s not only devastating but often times is also disfiguring. Many women suffer with body image issues after breast cancer. Ann Marie Giannino-Otis, who runs the blog Stupid Dumb Breast Cancer, said
“My breasts don’t even look anything like what they used to. They’re completely different. We look in the mirror after breast cancer: Our nipples are gone; we have scars that go across our chests; we have either gained a lot of weight or lost weight. We’ve changed completely. We’re not accepting of this body, and now you’re telling us to take off a bra?” she said. “What breast cancer is is taking off our breasts, having a lumpectomy, making them completely unerotic. So you’re sexualizing something that’s not sexy. It’s disgusting.“
Cancer patients don’t have time for cuteness when it comes to the potentially fatal disease they’re faced with. They do, on the other hand, have an appreciation for realism and action. Ask a real survivor what you can do to promote breast cancer awareness or how you can honor her fight. Their answers would include get a mammogram, run a race, donate to the Susan G. Komen Foundation or simply be there for someone fighting a battle. Taking your bra off isn’t the answer.
National No Bra Day is all about the breasts, not the women attached to them.
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