Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

Love, Respect and Godly Submission {Gods Design}

hey y’all!  thanks for joining me for our september bible study on Godly submission!  i’m so excited about this!  it’s something God has really been nudging my heart about lately.

submission is a word that holds many definitions among the world.  offensive, not acceptable, inferior, controlling and not politically correct are among the few.  but yet, it’s something we, as Christian wives, are called to do.      

first,  let me share my story…

as a woman who spent her entire life striving to be viewed as strong and independent, the thought of being submissive to anyone, let alone my husband, scared me to death. and i have to say, at first it made me angry. so angry that i completely rebelled against it and refused it. yep, i was a child rebelling against what my Father had not only told, but commanded me to do.

are you serious Jesus? um, hello…i’m amy…the girl that took the words “honor and obey” out of her vows for a reason! and now you want me to be submissive to my husband? seriously?   (on a quick side note, completely embarrassed and mortified that i actually took that out of my vows.  what in the world was my 20 year old mind thinking?)

and He answered loud and clear…”YEP”

wow, okay…deep breaths, i can do this…

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:22-24 22 

definition of submission  the word SUBMIT, according to Strong’s Lexicon is the Greek word hupotaso  which was originally a Greek military term meaning “to arrange troop divisions under the command of a leader”. in non-military use, it was “a voluntary attitude of giving in, of cooperating, of sharing a burden. in other words, when the word submit is used in the Bible, it refers not only to a yielding and obedient attitude of the heart, but also, and equally importantly, to an attitude of co-operation and support. without co-operation and support, things just don’t work they way they should.

what is submission?  submission is the acceptance of God’s order for our lives. as wives, we are to submit to Christ and submit to our husbands.  submission by a wife is to be voluntary.  it’s part of our obedience to the Lord.  there aren’t conditions to this submission either.  we are called to submit to our husbands, even if we feel they don’t deserve it.  we are to trust in their leadership, even if we don’t agree with it and submit to them even if we feel they aren’t meeting their roles.

Christian marriage is intended to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and His church.  let me say that again, because it blew my mind when i first learned it.  our marriage was designed specifically to mirror our relationship between Christ and His church.  we are acting out a living parable where husbands represent Christ and wives represent the church to bring glory to God and to help our children and others around us grasp what God is like in a more concrete way. does that change the way you look at marriage? it sure did with me. God intended marriage to mirror His relationship with the church so that we could basically be a testimony to others and SHOW them what God is like.

a marriage with Godly submission should be a faithful, intimate and loving relationship.  boy, doesn’t that sound like a far cry from what the world tells us submission is?
  so it turns out submission isn’t a sign of weakness, like this silly girl thought all along, it’s a sign of respect! and of course i want to honor and respect my husband, i love him.

what submission is not   submission is not abusive.  God does not want women to be submissive to abusers.  as wives, we have to be confident of our husbands goodwill.  remember, the command to wives to submit to their husbands is followed by the command to husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for her (Ephesians 5:25). in cases of abuse, there is a mighty need for an intervention and Godly counsel.  if you are in an abusive relationship, i would urge you to reach out to focus ministries.  it’s a Biblical based non-profit organization that offers counseling by phone, email, or in person. they want you to know you aren’t alone and you are oh so valuable to God!!!

submission also shouldn’t be used for leverage.  submission absolutely comes with no strings attached.  it is a heart desire to please God and do what is best for your family.  i mean really, what wife doesn’t want to live in peace?  don’t we all desire that?  there is such an inner peace that comes from living in harmony with our husbands while obeying God.

as women, we are quite good at knowing how to manipulate our husbands to get them to do what we want.  oh come on girls, we all know we’ve done it at one time or another.  that is definitly not subission.  and it’s something we should never, ever do.

Chuck Swindoll said this about submission:

Webster says that manipulation means “to control or play upon by unfair or insidious means, especially to one’s own advantage or to serve one’s own purpose.” In other words, secret manipulation is an unfair, insidious technique that results in getting what one wants. When handled cleverly, a wife can substitute secret manipulation for a quiet, submissive spirit.

why is submission so hard?  and why is this so hard for me?  it’s from a lack of surrender.  because i am, by nature, a controller.  that controlling nature is nothing more than pride and sin bubbling to the surface.  and the thoughts of not having control over a situation scares-me-to-death. but i believe God’s advice and His will to be the best for my life. even if I don’t fully understand it, i trust Him. with that being said, i somehow had to figure it out because i don’t want to live my life is disobedience. so i asked God to teach me what it means.

often we wives are afraid of losing control (and by “we wives” i really mean this wife right here) and WE get in the way of creating the marriages we ache for. you know, the one where we have a strong, confident, Godly man, who loves us like Christ loves the church. i know this girl certainly wants that type of marriage.

so this week, be an asset to your husband and try your best to learn what submission looks like in a Godly marriage. don’t forget to stop back next friday as we take a look at the beauty of submission. remember, keep your eyes on Him!

out for now
~kisses

a proverbs 31 woman

Give her the reward she has earned, 
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.
Proverbs 31:31
throughout all of Proverbs 31, we see this woman who works hard with her hands.  if we want to be a woman that honors God, we see over and over that we must work with our hands.  we must be willing to work with our hands doing those mundane things.  and do them with a joyful heart.  we need to use our hands to serve our husband, serve our littles and serve those outside of our home.  this reminds me of a quote by the Shakers “hands to work, hearts to God”.  i’m going to tell ya’all, this week as i was cleaning the kitchen for the 1,284 time that day, i felt a little sass rising up in my heart.  and at that moment God reminded me of this.  
this lady has worked hard and now she gets rewarded for that.  and what is her reward?  praise!  who is praising her?  her children (vs. 28), her husband (vs. 28-29), the Lord (vs. 30) and the community (vs. 31).  she certainly isn’t going around town singing her own praises with pride and arrogance.  this lady is humble.  in her heart, she worked hard for her family because she knew it honored God.  she didn’t do it for praise.  
Let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips.
Proverbs 27:2
how is it possible that we are already at the end of our study on the Proverbs 31 woman? thank you so much for joining me weekly! i will absolutely admit, i’m a little sad. i’ve enjoyed every second of diving into His word and finding out as much info as i could about this noble woman. and i loved how it’s impacted my life!  though we might have ended the series, i never want to stop striving to be this noble lady and follow in her footsteps.
out for now
~kisses

a proverbs 31 woman

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; 
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 
Proverbs 31:30
of all the weeks we’ve been doing this study, this one has spoken the loudest to my heart. i will absolutely admit, i’ve struggled with a poor self-image most of my life. i’ve never thought i was thin enough, pretty enough or worthy enough. i would be ashamed if ya’all could heart the ugly self-talk that goes on inside my head. it’s not pretty. not at all. it’s something that God has revealed in my heart that i need to tend to.

fast forward to this weeks bible study.

this girl is a slow learner but i’m fairly sure this week God got His point across to me, loud and clear. how many of you just said a little silent hallelujah? i know, me too!

the kind of beauty i’ve stressed and worried about my entire life is external beauty. the one all of us women think about, whether we admit it or not. the kind the media throws in our face daily. the kind we all wish we had more of.

then there is inner beauty. the one no one can see. the one that is there if people would give us time to show it. the one that God see’s and appreciates. inward beauty holds much more value than outward beauty. and the beauty of our heart is so much more important.

so how can we balance outer and inner beauty?

i think modesty is really important.  you can convey beauty and femininity with conveying your sexuality. allow your appearance to reflect your pure and virtuous heart. know your worth and reflect it on the outside. your body is a gift from God, honor it as such.     

be beautiful with your attitude and speech.  your words are a mirror to your heart.  i’m sure you’ve been around an attractive person that instantly became unattractive by the ugly that came out of their mouth.  

still tend to your appearance.  i’m not suggesting that it become necessary to throw away my makeup forever and go through life looking less than presentable. ya’all, that is not going to happen! we do need to take care of our appearance and not let our self go. we need to still celebrate our womanhood and remind our husband what he has.  i’m sure the lovely Proverbs 31 lady certainly doesn’t wear sweats everyday with her hair in a bun.  she took pride in her body, heart and mind!  she truly was Gods kind of beautiful.

but most of all, this woman fears the Lord. a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. i think that fearing the Lord means i live my life for Him, with respect for Him, honoring Him and i want to please Him. it means living every day knowing He is there with you.

  

we are beautiful on the inside and outside when we acknowledge Christ’s deep and abiding love for us. love that doesn’t change with our accomplishments or appearance.  i keep reminding myself, He was the first one to call me beautiful.  not because of my appearance, but because of my heart.  for who i am.  for my soul.   He loves me in spite of my scars, booty, nose, bags under my eyes, discolored skin and droopy eyelids. His love is always, always, forever there…accepting us exactly for who we are.

let Him love on you, you’re the love of His heart!  you are His precious daughter, His lovely princess. His joy. the apple of His eye. He loves you to the moon and back. and He calls you beautiful!

out for now

~kisses