Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

Reignite Intimacy | 3 Things Wives Want In the Bedroom

It is with such pleasure that I introduce today’s sweet guest blog writer, Meghan.  In her post, 3 Things Wives Want In The Bedroom, Meghan helps you husbands out by giving you some insight into what women really want in our marriage bed. Help me welcome her to Forever Beloved and leave her an encouraging comment below!

If you ask any man what they know about women, most will probably admit, that women can be a real mystery. Sometimes It’s hard to understand what makes us ladies tick.

In fact, it doesn’t matter if a man is a newlywed or has spent decades with his bride, he is most-likely still clueless about what actually pleases his wife. The return line at any department store after Christmas is proof of that!

Many men are just as lost when it comes to pleasing their wives in the bedroom, so to help you guys out, here are 3 things wives want in the bedroom.

We Want Acceptance

As women, we have a tremendous amount of pressure put on us to look a certain way or be a certain size.

The truth is, most of us don’t measure up in one way or another. This can leave even the most beautiful women feeling like a failure.

It’s really hard to be comfortable with our bodies when we are being compared to what we see on TV, in movies, and even on Instagram.

On top of that, many women are also moms, which means our bodies go through some really crazy changes when we are pregnant. Suddenly we have stretch marks, saggy skin, and cellulite that might not have been there on our wedding night.

We need to know that you still love us, and find us beautiful even when we don’t feel beautiful.

Having a husband who accepts our bodies as they are right now, and not how they used to look, or how we want them to be, is necessary to make us feel more confident in the bedroom.

We Want To Feel Cherished

Cherish by definition, means “to hold dear”, and sometimes we want just that…to be held, dearly!

Remind us of how much you care, by saying sweet things, and telling us exactly what you find attractive about us.

Show us that we are valued by doing romantic things for us. (A little back massage can go a long way!)

Let us know that what we have together is special and that you wouldn’t want to be with anyone else.

Do anything you can think of to show us that we are irreplaceable, loved, and treasured.

We Want Satisfaction

You may have heard the saying that marriage is all about “give and take.” One place it definitely applies is in the bedroom.

Any good woman wants to satisfy her husband, but a good husband should want to make his wife happy too.

Don’t just focus on yourself and your needs. Ask your wife what she wants from you, and how you can make her satisfied too.

Keeping each other pleased is a great way to grow closer and make your relationship stronger.

Every woman is different, but there are a few basic things that nearly all women want from their husbands. Among them are acceptance, being cherished, and feeling satisfied.

However, it never hurts to ask your wife what else she wants or needs. Communicate with her, and find out what specifically she might need from you to feel good about herself.

Wives what would you add to the list? Comment below and let us know!

I’m M. J. a Christian marriage blogger at RestoreAmor.com who is passionate about helping couples struggling in their marriages, and sharing what God has done to heal my own marriage. I love writing and it’s my desire that God would use my words to draw others to Him.

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Reignite Intimacy | Keep The Fire Burning

It is with such pleasure that I introduce today’s guest blog writer, Oluwapelumi.  And today we have the pleasure of hearing about keep the fire burning in your marriage. Pelumi reached out to me recently and was interested in being a guest blogger, I jumped at the opportunity!  Her heart for Jesus is evident as you read her post.  Please give a warm Forever Beloved welcome to Pelumi! Show her how much you appreciate this post by sharing and commenting!

Sex is very important in marriage and as a matter of fact, it’s also very important to God. God gave us sex as an amazing way to strengthen the  bond between a husband and a wife, throughout the lifetime  of a marriage. Sex is the healing balm for every hurts and offenses committed against one another. Sex is that special connection that is shared with no other person and it brings so much closeness and intimacy. Of course, there’s more to marriage than sex, but then sex is highly important and should not laid aside.

One of the most important things to do in marriage is to keep the fire in the bedroom burning. It is very important because if you don’t, the fire will die. Every fire needs fuel to keep it going, and that fuel must always be supplied at every point in time. In marriage, there’s need for husband and wife to continually fan to flame the intimacy that’s between them.

A lot of times, when couples divorce one another, it’s not because there is no more love, it’s just because they no longer do for each other, those things that matters in the marriage. I once read about a couple that were at the verge of divorce but the wife requested that the husband carries her in his arms every morning to the car, throughout the one month preceding the divorce. Can you believe that that singular act changed everything and after the one month, things got back to normal.

In this post, I will be highlighting important things that helps to keep the fire burning in any marriage.

  1. Effective communication

Communication is one of the most important tools in marriage. Communication is the rope that binds a relationship together. Everything in marriage is centered around communication. In order to keep the fire burning in the bedroom, there’s need to keep on talking about sex with your spouse. Regularly discuss together, your ideas about sex and how to make things better for each of you. Don’t just leave things to chance, talk about it. Talk about what you are doing wrong and what you are doing right. Talk as much as possible about sex.

  1. Be intentional

Sometimes, life becomes a routine. We wake up, prepare kids for school, go to work, do home duties, and all. It’s so easy to get  infused in the routine, and everything  remains the same. Never allow the busyness of life to affect your sexual relationship. Be intentional. Always think about how to make things better on your own, and how -to make things work out  together, by talking about it.  Don’t let the motions of life deny you the great pleasure that the Lord wants you to enjoy with our spouse.  Never allow things to become monotonous. Always think of how to spice up things in the bedroom. Of course, there are times that we just get so occupied and things gets dry and boring for a while. It’s okay, but as soon as you realize this, don’t stay there, pick it up from there and begin to spice things up again.

  1. Have a renewed mind about sex

There’s no better place to learn about sex than God’s word. You need to renew your mind and understand sex from the perspective of the word of God. The best place place to start to learn about sex is from God’s word, not from friends, not from Hollywood.

Let me give an instance, society may says that it’s okay to deny your spouse sex, or use sex as a manipulation tool. Scriptures however says that you should not deny your spouse except it’s with consent.

Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.  Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. I Corinthians 7:3-5 NKJV

Sometimes it’s okay to say No, especially if your spouse understands. The truth however is that  if you say no every time, especially because you are tired or because there’s an hurt in your heart against your spouse, you will find that it would take weeks or sometimes months before you would have get back to having sex as a couple. And you see, God’s intention is that you have sex as much as possible. ‘Do not deprive one another’ is an instruction and a  command, not a suggestion.

Sex is like the thermometer of one’s marriage, that is, how frequently you have it, says something about how strong and intimate you are in your marriage, and also having it frequently, helps to increase intimacy.

Another scripture to consider is this:

Let nothing be  done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Philippians 2:3-4 NKJV

Understand that sex is not a chore, it’s for pleasure. Sex is a way to bless your spouse, it’s not about you. If it’s all about you, then you can do it whenever you like and how ever you like. However, when you know that it’s more about ministering to your spouse, it changes your entire outlook to it.

  1. Flirt with your spouse

One way to stay connected to our spouses during the day such that it’s easy to say yes at night, is to think about them. Learn to think about your spouse during the day. You can as well send flirty text messages. Flirty text messages are like gathering the clouds in preparation for a mighty rain. It helps to set the tone for a great sex later in the course of the day.

See what the wife in songs of Solomon was thinking or maybe saying about her husband…

My beloved is radiant and ruddy, distinguished among ten thousand. His head is the finest gold; his locks are wavy, black as a raven. His eyes are like doves beside streams of water, bathed in milk, sitting beside a full pool. His cheeks are like beds of spices, mounds of sweet-smelling herbs. His lips are lilies, dripping liquid myrrh.  His arms are rods of gold, set with jewels.  His body is polished ivory, bedecked with sapphires.  His legs are alabaster columns, set on bases of gold.  His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. (Song of Songs 5:10-16)

Imagine thinking in such manner about your spouse. It heightens your sexual longing.

Touch your spouse. Touches are very important, not only when it’s time for the act, but throughout the day. Invest in sexy lingerie. Unleash the seductress in you. Say no to Granny’s pant. Be flirty towards your husband. Remember that men are visual beings. Accept yourself just the way you are. Truly, childbirth changes a lot of things; loose belly, loose breasts. However, know that your husband still finds you attractive and so be free to express yourself.  Initiate sex. Men are not very creative people. They are monotonous, they can stick to one pattern for a long time. Women however have a more natural tendency to be creative. In matters of the bedroom, be as creative as possible. Initiate another style, initiate another pattern. Get naughty, be creative. Who says a Christian’s sex life should be boring! There’s no limit to how much you can get creative and innovative. When you are uninhibited in your sexual expression towards your spouse, you become an exciting and stimulating partner and you also find enjoyment in the relationship.

  1. Always affirm your spouse positively

A man that knows that he’s highly accepted by his wife has an increased confidence. A woman, that receive positive affirmations especially about her body, has an increased self confidence and is allowed to be fully expressive, without any form of shame or reservations. Start to give your spouse words of affirmation about his or her sexual prowess. Whenever you want to communicate any challenge to your spouse about his or her sexual ability, do so with grace, such that there’s no hurt or bad feelings.

  1. Prioritize your relationship with God

The first thing to know is that there is a relationship between the fire in one’s spirit and the fire in the bedroom. The more we understand who we are in Christ Jesus, the more we understand the love of Christ, the more we will love one another, and the more we will be able to express ourselves in the bedroom. This is  why, before talking about the ways to keep the fire burning, I would emphasize on our relationship with the Lord. If we are not on fire for the Lord, there’s no way we are going to be on fire for one another.

One of my favorite scripture is Isaiah 54:5 NKJV.

For your Maker is your husband, The Lord of hosts is His name; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel; He is called the God of the whole earth.

Our relationship with God is very paramount in keeping the fire burning. As a wife,  When the Lord is first  your husband, He  fills your heart with so much love for your earthly husband. As an husband, when the Lord is first your wife,  sounds funny right, he fills your heart with so much love for your earthly wife. .

In conclusion, keeping the fire burning is not a one time thing, but it’s something to continually do throughout the course of your marriage.

 

My name is Oluwapelumi. I am married to a sweet husband called Seyi and we are blessed with two children (3 years and 18 months). I am very passionate about children spiritual growth and I am always looking for or creating resources and activities that will help me instill Christ in my home and in the hearts of my kids and other kids. l also have a mentoring ministry for teenage girls and young ladies and a blog, where I write for them. Along side this, I have another blog, aimed at helping wives and moms to be a blessing to their husbands and children respectively. My hobbies are writing, reading, thinking, playing, dancing and lots more. I enjoy loving Christ, helping my husband and taking care of my daughter and son.

God’s Word In My Mouth | Book Review

Today I have a real treat for you, a book review and guest post all in one post!  Pelumi contacted me and was interested in being a guest on the blog for my reignite intimacy series (her post will be coming in a few weeks) and also asked me to review her children’s book.  You know I can’t turn down a good book, so we are collaborating today for this post.


God’s Word In My Mouth
Scriptual Confessions For 50 Different Situations
by Oluwapelumi Boluwaji

About the book:

There’s always a word in the bible for any situation. God’s word in my mouth is a book for toddlers and preschoolers, containing different scriptural confessions and Bible w verses for different situations that a child can go through.

This book will help you to teach your child, from a young age, how to confess God’s word in any situation that they find themselves. It will help your child to learn to declare God’s word always, rather than the situation, because God’s word is the truth.

I’m always so, so excited to read new books.  While I was teaching Sunday School class the little ones would get so excited when I would pull a new book out of my bag!  And I’m certain they would have loved this book!

Each page gives a situation the child may find themselves in such as when I’m on my way to school or when I don’t feel happy.  The bottom of the page gives a child friendly description of what that verse means.  It is a great way to have children relate to verses and explain it to them in a way they would understand.

The illustrations are beautiful as well.  Very eye catching, colorful and relatable to kids.  Children will love looking at the pictures and pointing out something new in each one.

This book is definitely one I would recommend.  It would be a great asset in teaching little ones to lean on the Lord in every situation!  And would be a fabulous addition to any classroom.

The Importance of Children’s Devotions

When we hear the word devotion, the first thing that comes to mind is a time, whether in the day or in the night, that the family sets aside to read the word of God and pray. As much as this is true, it is also very important to note that devotion transcends a particular time and space. Devotion is a lifestyle. Devotion basically means dedication or commitment.  Children devotion, therefore, is about teaching your children to be dedicated and committed to the Lord, by everything that you do.

It’s important to note that children have to be taught. The same way that our children are taught to read and write, potty trained and taught to do house chores, they also have to be taught to be devoted to God. They have to be taught in the things of the Lord.  It does not just happen by chance.  If they are not taught to be devoted and committed to the Lord, they will be taught something else, somewhere else. As a parent therefore, it’s important that you take the teaching and training of your children, in the way of the Lord, to be of utmost importance. This responsibility is not for the local church, it’s a parental responsibility. What the church does is to reinforce what is being taught at home. Their is nothing as sweet as having one’s children know the Lord. Our children are our first disciples, automatic disciples, and they need to be taught by us.

 Some important things to note

  1. Be intentional

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6: 6-9 NKJV

This scripture emphasizes the intentionality of teaching your children about God. It says to talk of the scriptures when you sit, when you walk and when you lie down. This means every single moment, you should be talking about God’s word. You have got to be intentional.  Have a plan, in line with what God has told you about your children, and in line with your family mission and vision. Curriculum is not just for school education. Have a curriculum for your children’s spiritual training. Have a routine. Have a set time, both formal and informal.

  1. Take heed to yourself

Only take heed to yourself, and diligently keep yourself, lest you forget the things your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. And teach them to your children and your grandchildren, especially  concerning  the day you stood before the Lord your God in Horeb, when the Lord said to me, ‘Gather the people to Me, and I will let them hear My words, that they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.’ Deuteronomy 4: 9-10 NKJV

Notice that in this scripture, before teaching your children about your dealings with God, the first is to take heed to yourself and to diligently keep yourself.

Teaching your kids in the instruction of the Lord and unto godliness is not something mechanical. It starts from your own lifestyle. If you are not devoted and committed to the Lord, there’s no way you can teach another person to be so. That’s why, you cannot joke with your own relationship with God. If you don’t have a relationship with God and you want to teach your kids to do so, it can’t work. You cannot take your children to where you have not been. When you tell them, don’t say this, are you saying it yourself? When you tell them, don’t do this, are you doing it yourself? Our devotion to the Lord is a lifestyle and it can be perceived by our children. If you want your kids to prioritize God’s word, then you also need to prioritize God’s word too. It will be seen by them and evident to them.

  1. It’s not too early to start

As soon as a child is born, he starts learning. That’s the time to start training and teaching. It’s never too early. Every seed of God’s word deposited in their heart yields massive fruits. Don’t wait till that child is two, don’t even wait till the child is one. Start from day one. Start now. Lessons are already being learnt and mindsets are already being formed. A toddler can understand God’s word.

Out of the mouth of babes and sucklings, He has ordained praise. That’s how God ordained it.

God has put in every man a quest for Him. He has set eternity in the heart of man. That quest was there, the moment your child was born. You need to start to provide the answers by showing the direction to God right from the beginning. Even when he cannot read, he can hear. Something is getting deposited in her heart, I tell you.

What are the things to teach your children

It’s important to teach your children God’s instructions. The Lord’s instruction are found in his word. No one can have a relationship with God outside His word. God’s word is our life as believers. Secrets to success is found in the word. Help your kids to understand and to know God’s word. Teach them about the person of God, teach them about the fruits of the spirit, promises of God, God’s salvation plan for man, purpose, gifts of the spirit, the power of God, our realities in Christ. There’s a lot to teach and train our children when it comes to having a  relationship with God. However, there’s need to partner with the Spirit of God as to what to teach a child at each season of his or her life. This partnership with the Holy ghost is very important as He knows the purpose of each child and what they need to be taught in line with that purpose.  For instance, the way you will raise a minstrel will be different from the way you will raise a pastor.

In conclusion,

And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth.

Malachi 2:15 AMP

The whole essence of oneness in marriage is so that we might raise godly offsprings. You see how passionate the Lord is about having godly offsprings from the unity of husband and wife? That should be our passion as well. Parenting is partnership with the Lord to raise godly offsprings. He cannot do this on earth by himself, and so he instituted marriage so that the husband and wife can be one and can help in raising godly offsprings, that will establish His kingdom on the earth. Not raising godly offsprings is not doing the will of the Father. It’s very Paramount in the heart of God. It has to be taken personal, and because it’s a partnership with God, know for sure that Grace is available.

My name is Oluwapelumi. I am married to a sweet husband called Seyi and we are blessed with two children (3 years and 18 months). I am very passionate about children spiritual growth and I am always looking for or creating resources and activities that will help me instill Christ in my home and in the hearts of my kids and other kids. l also have a mentoring ministry for teenage girls and young ladies and a blog, where I write for them. Along side this, I have another blog, aimed at helping wives and moms to be a blessing to their husbands and children respectively. My hobbies are writing, reading, thinking, playing, dancing and lots more. I enjoy loving Christ, helping my husband and taking care of my daughter and son.

One of the things I do is to create resources for children spiritual growth and devotion to God.

I have some free resources for children on my blog here. I also have a free book here, on teaching your daughter (and son) about their realities in Christ.

I have a book of scriptural confessions for kids that you can check out and pay for here if you are interested. I also have  two  amazing resources on my Etsy shop here.