Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

A Letter to My Future Son-in-Law

To my dear sweet future Son-in-Law,

I don’t know you yet, but already, I love you. I love you so much, because some day, you will love my daughter. And she will return that love.

Do you know I’m praying for you right now and have been since you were just a young boy? I’m praying not just for the sake of my daughter and her happiness, but also for your heart. You will be the father of my grandchildren, and very much a well-accepted part of our family. You will not only be my son-in-law, but will become part of this family and considered a son.

For years I’ve told my daughter that right now, at this exact moment, God is preparing a sweet boys heart just for hers. Two hearts that will perfectly fit together. A boy that God is giving the same morals and values He’s given to her. I am already so excited for the life you’ll give my sweet girl.

I can tell you must be a very special person to have gained (and kept) sweet girls attention. I asked her one day what she was looking for in a boyfriend and her answer immediately made me think it would take a special, godly man to meet those standards. She knew, and wasn’t afraid to say, her first kiss would be saved for her wedding day. She wasn’t interested in “dating around”, she was interested in finding a husband-worthy man. Said man would have to ask her Dad for permission to date her and the dates would need to be supervised. She is a determined girl, you’ll learn that about her.

But first, there are a few things you must know. You have to know just how much we love and adore our sweet girl. There’s not a thing in this world we wouldn’t do to see her waking every morning with a smile on her face and to have every day fill her heart with complete joy. Although I must warn you, the morning smile takes a few minutes to surface. And once it does, there isn’t any stopping it.

Dear Son, I know at first you’ll be more interested in how gorgeous she is on the outside. And she sure is. But trust me, she is breathtakingly beautiful on the inside, too. As you get to know her, you’ll learn the way her heart beats for what she’s most passionate about.

  • She loves her Jesus and has a deep, personal and authentic relationship with Him.
  • God gave her a heart for children with special needs. And she will do anything to brighten their day.
  • She is a family girl through and through. She is incredibly close with her father and I and has an unstoppable bond with her brother.

But I will warn you, she’s a pistol!

Don’t be shocked when you come home from work one day to discover she’s rescued every stray animal she came across that day. Her heart for animals is large. Perhaps just figure on building her a barn straight away to house all the animals she’ll rescue over the years.

At this point, it’s too soon to tell what kind of a homemaker she’ll be. I can assure you you’ll be eating well, even if you have to step over shoes to get to the table. If you’re okay with tripping over piles of clothing or finding candy wrappers strung about the home in various places, she’ll be forever grateful for your grace, I’m sure.

I can tell this…never, ever even think of whistling in your home. Humming and back-pats are also strongly discouraged. If you do any of those three things, I will sadly not be able to protect you. Perhaps as you offer her grace on the housekeeping end, she’ll offer you grace in these areas.

There will be days of music blaring dance parties. I apologize for that. I may have influenced that at a young age. I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree on that aspect.

This I will tell you for sure, when she falls in love with you, she’s yours. She’s honest to the core, and will never lie to you or betray you. She’ll be a devoted wife and an amazing mother to your children. She will work hard to show her love to her family and will likely have taken after me when it comes to shoving holiday traditions down your throat. Smile and enjoy it. She won’t change. It’s a part of her upbringing and she loves to celebrate!

Please, dear future Son-in-Law, please, lead your family well.  My prayer is that you are a man who puts God first. I pray that you develop such a deep and intimate relationship with the Lord that you just want to continue to pursue him every single day. Invite God into the core of your marriage and seek Him in all things.  That pursuit will allow you to love my daughter in an amazing and powerful way.


Mostly, I ask that you love our daughter well. Seriously. Love her well. Listen to her when she shares her heart. Treat her with respect. Be gentle with her. Never stop telling her and showing her how much you love her. She knows what a healthy marriage looks like. She witnessed it growing up. Don’t let her down. I’ve been praying for you, Son. You can do this!

Until we meet one day,
Your Future Mother-in-Law

To The Wife That Just Found Out

In the aftermath of the Ashley Madison hack, there are so many wives walking through the valley of brokenness right now. My heart breaks for their hearts. I’ve felt the nudge for a few days to write this article and today, I knew it was the right time.

The silent burden you’re carrying seems too heavy to lift some days. The hurt, the extreme hurt, seems to reach directly down to your bones. The knife stabbing pains of a broken heart. There are days where the pain literally takes away your ability to breathe.

Things that once looked so familiar to you now look like things you don’t even recognize. The coffee pot he made coffee in each morning while he was lying to you. The couch you snuggled on while watching tv while he was lying to you. The stairs you both walked up to your bedroom while he was lying to you. The socks he put on each morning while he was lying to you. Literally every single item in your house is filled with lies. And as you glance around each day, that is what you see.

Some might say take comfort in knowing you aren’t suffering alone, that there are so many other women across the US {including Anna Duggar} walking this same path. You find no comfort in that. None. Truth is the valley you are walking through is dark, cold, lonely and so very scary. Along the path is hurt, anger and bitterness.

Let me speak directly to your heart sweet girl. God wants to hold your broken heart in His hands. That is the only way. Listen to my words and let me say it again…that is the ONLY way. He can heal your broken heart and He will heal it. But first you must give Him all the pieces. The challenge is first finding all of the pieces. Like shards of broken glass, the pieces weave themselves so very deep into our hearts. And I’m sure Satan is right there, breaking the pieces smaller and hiding them better.

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds
Psalm 147:3

The pain touches a deep, vulnerable place often known only to God. When hurting is the only thing you can feel, it is such a lonely place to be.

So many times when we are going through pain, we are told to get over it, move on and let it go. They don’t understand how slow this hurt heals. The world offers so many ways to numb the pain, but they are only temporary fixes. Please oh please don’t fall for that trap. And if we turn to them, then we aren’t allowing God to heal our hurt. Allowing Him to search and heal our hearts is the only true way to have them healed. Only He knows the deepness and complexity of our pain.

Don’t suffer through your grief alone. Don’t be unwilling to be vulnerable with God. And please, even though you are angry, don’t blame God. Give Him your heart, hand it over to Him to search and find all those little pieces of hurt and allow His hands to heal it as only He can.

Search me O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way
Psalm 139:23-24

When it feels like all hope is lost, hand that relationship over to God.  It’s so easy to make rash decisions while our heart is broken.  Many days, divorce sounds like the best and sometimes easiest option.  And maybe that will be the end result for your relationship.  If it is, cling to God like never before and allow Him to carry you through it.  But maybe God has a beautiful reconciliation full of grace planned for you.  Often times the relationship, once it has endured the storm, will come out of it stronger and new. Through all the conversations, all the deepness, you now know each other differently. This is the blessing of true healing from the hands of God.

At times, taking it day by day seems like such a big task.  Just take it minute by minute, and allow His grace to carry you through each one.
I know even reading this post made your heart ache and the tears flow.  I wish so very much I could reach through this screen and give you a big hug and just cry with you.  One day the hurt will be a little less, I promise.  And that will feel like the first “good day” you’ve ever had.  And each week, there will be more glimpses of sunshine.  Eventually your good days will run together, and smiles and laughter will abound.  Trust me, you will get there if you allow God to heal your heart.  He brings beauty from the ashes.

You will move on past this.  You will hold your head high, knowing the storm may have knocked you down but it didn’t win.

The Argument-Free Marriage {Book Review}

The Argument-Free Marriage
28 Days to Creating the Marriage You’ve Always Wanted with the Spouse You Already Have
By Fawn Weaver
About the book:

New York Times best-selling author Fawn Weaver challenges readers to declare peace in their marriages-and shows how it really can happen. 

Is an argument-free marriage possible? Fawn Weaver’s answer is yes, absolutely, even when one or both partners are strong willed, independent, and opinionated. (She admits to being all three.) In this groundbreaking book, the best-selling author and award-winning marriage blogger asks readers to invest twenty-eight days in learning how to live together without bickering, blame, angry outbursts, or silent treatments. 

Fawn begins with the startling premise that, contrary to popular opinion, conflict in marriage is not necessary or inevitable. Then she leads readers on a day-by-day journey toward a more peaceful and supportive relationship. Chapter by brief chapter, she offers fresh perspectives and practical strategies for communicating effectively, building understanding, and defusing anger while at the same time nurturing honesty, vulnerability, and mutual support.  

I’m sure if I asked who wanted an argument free marriage, I’d see all sorts of hands going up…including my own!  I can speak for my own marriage, most of our arguments are over small things and when the argument is over, sometimes I even have trouble remembering why it even started.

Fawn says that she is outspoken, so for her, an argument free marriage may be a difficulty. Boy, can this outspoken girl relate to that!  One of the hardest things for me to do is keep my mouth shut and walk away from an argument.  I have this deep desire to always get the last word in, and to be right.  Not my most endearing qualities.

In the book, Fawn says that there are 3 things that are essential in creating an argument-free marriage, and that these can be replicated in any relationship one desire’s to last a lifetime (marriage, siblings, parents, children): Understand and obey the law of acceleration, Stick to the original emotion and Keep at the forefront of your mind this indisputable fact: that tomorrow may never come.

The author’s tips are basic—things we know but too often don’t follow: don’t go to bed angry, for instance.  Actually, this may be basic but it’s a pretty big one.  From my own experience, I can tell you when I’ve went to bed angry I just never sleep well that night.  The Bible even says in Ephesians 4:26 to not let the sun go down while you’re angry.

There were many pearls pf wisdom in this book. And Fawn has delivered in this book what she does with her website: disseminating encouraging messages about how marriages can thrive.

This book was provided to me free of charge by Book Look in return for my honest review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

Fawn Weaver, a USA Today and New York Times and bestselling author, is an investor, marriage advocate, TEDx alum and the founder of the Happy Wives Club, a community of nearly 1,000,000 women in more than 110 countries.

The Club’s website, HappyWivesClub.com, is an upbeat blog dedicated to positively changing the tone about marriage. Twice named the Best Marriage Site on the web by About.com, HappyWivesClub.com is the go-to place for women wanting to read about the “sunny side” of marriage and get tips on taking a marriage from good to great and from great to extraordinary.