Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

To All Married Women ♥

I’m re-posting this blog entry from a few years back, for a few reasons.  First, I think there are some sweet women that need this encouragement today.  And second, there is lots of good advice here that all of us {myself at the top of the list} can benefit from.

1. Don’t give up. With God in your marriage, all things are possible. {1 Corinthians 13:7}

2. Respect your husband. It’s important and something he’ll be grateful for. {Ephesians 5:33}

3. Forgive. We are all sinners and none of us are perfect. {Ephesians 4:32}

4. Talk + talk + talk + talk. Communication is a necessity in marriage. {Proverbs 15:2}

5. Don’t speak badly of your husband in front of others. Ever. You would expect the same in return. {Ephesians 4:32}

6. Never go to bed angry. {Ephesians 4:31}

7. Don’t focus on his faults. Everyone has faults, including you.

8. Passion doesn’t have to fade. Simply don’t allow it to. {Proverbs 5:18-19}

9. Be nice. {Galations 5:22-23}

10. Keep God in your marriage and honor Him. This is SUPER important. {Colossians 3:17}

11. Pray for your marriage and your spouse. Pray hard and pray daily. Pray alone and pray with your spouse.

12. Guard your heart. You don’t realize how quickly and easily someone else can get to your heart. {Proverbs 4:23}

13. Say I’m sorry. Something that isn’t easy but it’s needed. {Colossians 3:13}

14. Even if you feel your marriage is broken, there is always hope. Give it to God! With God all things are possible! {Matthew 19:26}

15. Go to church together. I have to say, I adore sitting in a pew with my husband, holding hands and listening to the sermon together. {Hebrews 10:24-25}

16. Kiss him, dance with him on a whim and hold his hand in front of your kids. Show them your romance. What a perfect place for them to learn about love.

17. Laughter and fun are important. One of the things that drew me to my husband was how easily he could make me laugh. 19 years later we are still laughing.

18. Have a gentle submissive spirit. Voluntary submission is something asked of us directly by God. {Ephesians 5:22}

19. Don’t be selfish. Life isn’t all about you. {Philippians 2:4}

20. Your marriage is a testimony! You never know how many people might be drawn closer to Christ because they were watching your marriage walk.

Love, Respect and Godly Submission {To The Men}

It’s not very often I write a blog post specifically for men. It’s kinda strange but I’m actually super excited {and a little nervous} to share Gods marriage design with you as well!

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy,cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Ephesians 5:25-33

Three times in this passage of Scripture God commands you as a husband to do something specific: love your wife.

While your wife is instructed to submit, you are instructed to love your wife. Not just kinda sorta love her, but love your wife as Christ loved the church. Paul does not tell you in this passage to rule over your wife. You are never told, “make sure your wife knows you’re in authority over her or show her who’s in charge.” Instead God tells you three times to love your wife.

Love her.

God’s command to love your wife involves more than just acting in love when you feel emotionally or physically close to your wife. God doesn’t tell you to love your wife just when she is being affectionate and loving to you. He doesn’t say to love your wife only when you feel she is deserving of it. And it doesn’t say to withhold love when she’s sassy {thank goodness}. God commands: cherish your wife. Have affection for your wife. Love her.

Guys, let your wife know how much she means to you. Tell her. Tell her over and over again. Write her a note to tell her and hide it in a place she’ll find it. Believe me, she’ll appreciate that more than you know. And she’ll more than likely shed a few tears. Give her a big hug and kiss when you walk in the door after work. Just hold her in your arms. From a woman’s perspective, this little act of kindness can wash away the negative things that happened during the day and change the tone of the evening. And I betcha this would also be a good step towards getting that smokin’ hot marriage we all want!

How did Jesus ultimately show His love the church? He died to establish it. Wow… I know, right. Are you willing to do that? You are also to love your wife more than you love yourself. In reality, Christ is asking you to put your wife’s needs before your own. What makes that difficult is our own selfish hearts. It doesn’t help that you have the world in your ear, telling you that you are entitled to put your own needs first. And if you don’t…well then you’re either a sissy, hen-pecked or really foolish.

Submission can’t be forced, ever. Trying to control others (including your wife) is prideful, selfish and sinful. It doesn’t honor God or others. And it certainly won’t make for a very happy marriage. Being controlling isn’t loving at all. If your wife isn’t submitting, ask yourself “am I loving my wife as Christ loved the church?” If the answer is no, then I’d say that is something you need to work on. Work on your part and don’t worry about her part. Once your heart is in the right place, then the two of you can work on submission together.

A truly Christian marriage will mirror the relationship between Christ and his church. This mirroring will involve both the husband loving his wife as Christ loves the church, and the wife gladly submitting to her husband. The two elements, love and submission, are non-negotiable within the relationship. Both elements, love and submission are required for our marriages to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church.

So this week…guys, love on your wife. Hug her, kiss her, hold her, listen to her and just spend genuine quality time loving her.

Eternally Thankful

This is the eighth anniversary of the best and worst day of my life. This is the day I stood in my living room with tears streaming down my face and begged my husband not to leave. This is also the day that made me step back and take a good, long look at myself in the mirror and realize my own faults. And this is the day that I decided to make a change for me, for us, for our family and most importantly for God.

Not everyone understands why I remember this day or why I “celebrate” it. I think it’s super important to remember our past, it brought us to where we are today. The word “remember” is used 167 times in the Bible. I’m fairly sure God is reminding us of the importance of remembering. I never, ever want to forget what brought us to that point on that day. I want to remember what my actions were before and what I changed afterwards. I can remember so vividly sitting in the middle of my floor, sobbing, and looking at the calendar and thinking “this is a date I will never forget”. And I haven’t. Remembering is part of our design by creation.

One evening, not long after he left, I drove my car back a dirt road. I followed the road to the top and pulled in to the perfect spot, nestled among trees and open fields. It was a gorgeous, clear night and the sky was filled with stars. I sat there that evening and cried for hours while talking to God like He was sitting in my car with me. That evening the seed of forgiveness was planted in my heart.

I realized my relationship with Jesus had taken a backseat to life, along with my marriage. Actually, Jesus wasn’t even in the backseat, He was in the trunk. I did not have time for Jesus to trip me up when I was busy living the ways of the world. I realized I couldn’t change my husband. There was only one person I could change: me. Jesus said, “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:5). Once I realized that, asked for forgiveness and started to nurture my relationship with Jesus THAT’S when things started to change, when I started to change.

There was never a doubt that I wanted to stand for my marriage, regardless of what the world told me to do. God showed me divorce extracted a high price. One I simply wasn’t willing to pay. There were people telling me to get a divorce and move on with my life, that I deserved better, but all I wanted to do was what God wanted me to do and that is it. I knew that standing was what God wanted me to do and I never let the thought of divorce even enter my mind.

Some may support your stand for your marriage and your fight against the enemy, while some may totally disagree, but all that matters is that you do what God wants you to do. Those that disagree with you might make their voice heard daily, or they might even walk out of your life because of it. You need to remember, one day we will all have to face judgment and have to be responsible for the things we did. All those people who had opinions about your situation will not be with you when you have to answer to God. You have to do what you know is right.

I prayed, trusted God and knew His will would be done. I basically handed my marriage to Him and waited for things to be done in His timing, not mine. I was waiting for His intervention. Through that, God taught me patience and perseverance. Three months later, he returned home!

I am so thankful that our love story didn’t end there, that it did indeed have more chapters to it. The reward of restoration was well worth the wait. And I am eternally thankful that our love was rescued by God ♥ I adore the beautiful God-scripted love story I have.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9