Most of us enter marriage so in love that we would never think of divorce much less take the time to guard our hearts against it. When Joe and I got married we hadn’t ever fought one single time. I thought I was entering a perfect, dream marriage. Divorce just wasn’t something that entered our mind at that point. Sadly, it normally isn’t until it’s too late. Then we realize we should have been guarding our hearts all along. From the beginning we should build a fence of protection around our marriage and a shield around our heart.

How many times have you heard it said to follow your heart? Or maybe you’ve even given that advice yourself. Your heart is the center of who you are. It’s the doorway to your emotions and relationships. Where your heart leads, your feet naturally follow. No matter what the decision we have to make, we are encouraged by the world to do what we feel our heart tells us to do. We are told that we deserve it, to be true to ourselves. God tells us not to follow our hearts, that they are wicked and deceitful.

Anyone is vulnerable if their heart isn’t guarded; from Sunday school teachers to members of the choir. Don’t underestimate the enemy. We are all at risk. Every. One. Of. Us. Satan wants to draw you away from your spouse. He would love nothing more than to see you stray.

As a wife, you hold the key to your husband’s heart. I specifically remember when Joe and I were separated he sent me a text message that meant more to me than he ever knew. It simply said “you still hold the key to my heart”. Guarding love keeps your focus where it belongs. It protects everything that is important to you. You need to guard the love you’ve dreamed of.

Relationships with the opposite sex – Although in our minds they may seem harmless, many times they lead to feelings that shouldn’t be there.   It all starts with an innocent glance, a whispered phrase, a caring pat, a kind gesture, thoughtful word, or gentle hug. A hurried hand squeeze or double-meaning kidding. These are the danger signals. They all seem so innocent and warm, but can turn dangerous in a flash.

Anger – The temptation to sin seems to be greater when your angry. It just seems so much easier to justify then.

Pornography – Everywhere you look, it’s there staring you in the face. It destroys marriages, period. This also includes books disguised as romance novels, such as 50 shades of grey series.

Worry – When you’re consumed by worry, it pulls your trust from God. Remember, why worry when you can pray!

Comparison – Don’t compare your marriage to movies. The problem isn’t wanting a fairytale romance but trying to compare your marriage and your spouse to those whirlwind romances in the movies. so many times I’ve been guilty of that myself, and I simply set myself up for disappointment and failure. We need to truly love our husbands without unreal expectations.

Control – Leave family leadership to the husband, that is God’s plan for marriage. This is my stumbling block. This is probably the single hardest thing for me to do.

Attention – Remember marriages don’t look like the fairy tale romances you see on movies. As women, we crave attention and when we don’t feel our husbands are giving us enough, we go looking for it wherever we can find it.

A dear, sweet friend of mine is going through a bit of a rough time right now in her marriage. We’ve all been there at one time or another, haven’t we? I wrote the post below a while back and thought maybe she (and others) would benefit from it. So here’s the re-post…

This morning I woke up with a song in my heart and my head. It’s one from my childhood and one that I just super love. I love when God puts a song in my heart before I even wake up. I always pay special attention to those ones. This morning’s song was He’s Able. I know, it’s a great one, right? As I was doing my morning devotion, I just kept singing and humming this song. As I was really focusing on the words, today’s blog post quickly became apparent.

He’s able, He’s able, I know He’s able;
I know my Lord is able to carry me through.
He healed the broken-hearted
and set the captive free;
He made the lame to walk again
and caused the blind to see.

There was a day not too many years ago when I would have told you my marriage was hopeless. Countless arguments, an unwillingness to understand each other and selfish hearts led to a separation.  Suddenly, the small problems I thought we had were now magnified.  I felt so alone…with two kids to tend to daily, a house to take care of and working full time, I was stressed beyond stressed.

At first, I spent time being angry. And I sure felt justified in that anger. I wanted God to heal my marriage right this very second, in my time. I prayed every single day, spent time reading my Bible and felt I was entitled to a miracle that didn’t seem to be coming my way. Anger, hopelessness and fantasies of divorce consumed my days.

I was angry. So angry.

There was one certain night when I was really down, almost at my breaking point. I went up on a hill in the middle of the woods, the sky was covered with stars and I could see for miles around. I popped in a CD of hymns, sang along, cried my eyes out and talked to God for hours on end. When I left the hill that night I had something new, HOPE! Hope in the Lord restoring my marriage in HIS time.

Hope is so important y’all, and realizing that was a pivotal turning point in my life and essentially my marriage. Hope motivates us to make positive choices in life and marriage and to get our relationship with Christ right. The Lord knew I had a few {okay, maybe quite a few} “life lessons” to learn along the way, patience and perseverance being a few. Having hope gave me the desire to search MY heart and have Him reveal the parts of my heart that broke His heart.

He can see into the deepest depths of your heart and He knows exactly what it will take to restore Hope into your heart, into your life and into your marriage. He doesn’t wait for us to “clean up our act”. He meets us where we are and loves us just as we are, sinners. He showers us with his amazing grace. We have a God who knows how we feel, and really cares. He knows our doubts and hopelessness. He can help when we’re willing to bring those things to him. Nothing is impossible for God!

Your past might have shaped you but it doesn’t have to define you and hold you captive. Don’t allow who you were to keep your marriage from being what it is meant to be.

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure

Hebrews 6:19

Today is the wedding anniversary of two pretty amazing people in my life. A couple I’ve been absolutely blessed to call Mom and Dad. Fifty one years is a long time y’all, especially in this day and age. To honor their super special day, I’m re-posting a blog I did last year about their legacy of love.

Last week, as I was cleaning my new office space in my home, I came across a box. As I opened the lid and peeked inside, I saw it was filled with old pictures. Instantly my heart soared.

As I’ve said before, I am enamored with old photos. So much so that it sparked this insatiable craving to take pictures of people. To me, pictures are priceless treasures. I found a box full of moments, perfectly captured, allowing me to travel back in time.

I settled down on the floor, sitting indian style and pulling the box over in front of me. As I started rifling through the photos, I realized what I was actually looking at. A smile graced my lips. I was looking at love letters, in pictures, my parents had sent back and forth while they were dating. My dad was in the military and stationed across the country. So their only way of communication was through letters and pictures.

At first, I felt like I had barged into a secret diary. But I just couldn’t stop looking, reading and smiling. This is where the legacy of love began. The legacy that was passed to me and now on to my children.

And now the tears begin.

These pictures, so innocent and hopeful, with no idea of the future. Thinking about all of the highs, lows, and wonderful things they’ve experienced together over the years brought me to tears. They had no sense of the struggles they would eventually face. They had no idea they would someday have to hold each other through cancer, the death of loved ones and lost jobs. That one day they would travel to another state and adopt the sweetest baby girl ever. They had one thing…love.

Through that love, and devotion to each other, they sat such an amazing example of marriage and parenting for me. Every day, they wrote more of their legacy together. A legacy that will be remembered in lives long past their days on this earth. When we say words like legacy or inheritance, money or heirlooms usually come to mind. But the legacy I’m speaking of is different. It’s a legacy of priceless and intangible things. They’ve built a legacy of loving God, loving others before yourself and having a selfless heart.

I was given directly by God a family with two parents who are still married. I was given a family where both sets of grandparents were married until their dying day. A family that bonds closer together during tough times rather than throwing in the towel. At times, I wonder how I got so lucky…to be hand-picked by God and placed into this amazing family. Like a whisper in the wind I’m reminded that luck had nothing to do with it. This is part of my story, the one He wrote long before I was born.

They are incredible parents, living out a legacy of love passed down from both of their parents! They have never tried to be perfect, but they have tried to love me and others well and show us the best example of Christ that they could. They know how to fight when the enemy brings the battle close to home and they know how to praise when another battle is won. They are my legacy of love.