Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

My Hero

This lucky girl is married to a hero.

He doesn’t wear a cape or leap from buildings. He’s an everyday hero in this house. A hard-working, tenderhearted guy. He takes care of his wife and his littles, always putting their wants and needs before his own. He will completely stop what he is doing to help someone in need. And he follows God.

Isn’t that the best kind of hero.

I’m not sure he realizes what a complete hero he is to me, to us. It’s evident to me daily. So I’m here to let my hero know a few things…

I need him. I love knowing my husband will step in and defend me or protect me in a moment’s notice. He would fight for my honor. Inappropriateness, disrespect, ogling…he’ll step in and tend to them all. 

 
My hero. Sigh.

I lean on him. I know the world pushes independent women. And they sure aren’t fond of women that aren’t independent whatsoever. I’m totally capable of being THAT woman but I’m so thankful to have a man I can rely on. If there’s an emergency, I call him. If there’s excitement, I call him. You have no idea how many spiders he has killed over the years y’all (That alone qualifies him as being my hero. This girl doesn’t do spiders). He’s held me while I sobbed over a loss. He’s fixed leaks and clogged pipes. He’s calmed me down when I called him freaking out. He’s calmed my spirit, telling me everything will be okay. He’s my rock.

He is a true hero. Loving me quietly.

I’d be lost without him. I know this sounds a little over-the-top, but it is true. I would be lost without his loving and protecting arms around me. I would be lost without his voice telling me it will all be okay. I would be lost without his body to snuggle me at night.

A great hero. An everyday hero.

My hero.

I love you sweet boy. Happy Valentines Day!


Cultivating Intimacy in Your Marriage

Oh, how God loves to stretch me through this blog.  This is a hard post for me to share.  I’ve been writing this for days, pouring over it hours at a time. I’ve been back and forth with it. It’s hard and uncomfortable, but God has called me to share.

For weeks I had stewed over this issue. You have no idea how many conversations I had with myself about it. Oh, how I longed for someone to talk to about it. When I knew one of my girlfriends was coming over for coffee, I spent some time praying for God to give me the strength to talk to her about it.

I had spent so much time thinking we were the only ones with this issue, it never occurred to me it might be a common issue in other marriages. I was so thankful God gave me the words to say to her! Once the words left my lips, I suddenly felt braver. She assured me we aren’t the only ones to struggle.

The issue…intimacy.

As we enter into marriage, we have these pre-conceived notions of how intimacy will look. Then life happens. You’re sleep deprived, the bills seem never ending, the house needs cleaned, dishes need done and does. the. laundry. never. end.? Add to that a husband that works second shift and you see each other just a few hours a day. If we don’t intentionally cultivate intimacy, of course it’s easy for it to get lost along the way.

I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine: he feedeth among the lilies.
Song of Solomon 6:3
Oh, how I love that verse. I love it enough that I have it tattooed on my back. It just speaks volumes to me of love, belonging and intimacy.  Intimacy is such a vital part of marriage.  Through intimacy, a couple creates a strong connection and deep bond.  One that far exceeds any other relationship you could have.
We need to be purposeful about cultivating intimacy and passion in our marriage. There are many different ways a husband and wife can do this. It takes time, energy and effort, but if you are intentional about it, your marriage will benefit and grow.

How can you keep intimacy alive? You have to desire it. You have to want it. You have to be deliberate about it. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to reach the goal. You have to engage your heart fully in the joyful pursuit.

A while back, I read an amazing book. It was Intimacy Ignited by Dr. Joseph and Linda Dillow and Dr. Peter and Lorraine Pintus. I would highly recommend this book to every. single. couple. It is a verse by verse exploration of the Song of Solomon, one of the most loving, romantic and poetic Books found in the Old Testament of the Bible! If God ever gave us an instruction manual for intimacy in marriage, Song of Solomon is it! God wants married couples to have a love so hot, so passionate, so intense that nothing will be able to extinguish it.

Many people associate the word intimacy with sex. Although sex is an intimate act a husband and wife can enjoy together, there are other ways to cultivate intimacy as well. Sexual intimacy is very important, but so are these other intimate acts.

4 Ways To Cultivate Intimacy In Your Marriage:

1. Pursue your spouse.

Now, this one is a bit tricky. Men and women are so different. I know, right, Can I get an Amen? Pursuit, to most men, means feeling desired (ladies, read that as “sex”) and affirmed through respect, honor and appreciation. Most women, on the other hand, are more likely to want to be pursued through time, attention and tenderheartedness (guys, read that as “romance”). 

  • Write your spouse a love letter. Write it in a way that would say “I love you” to them (which means it might not necessary be the kind you would want to receive). Explain to your spouse that you want to work on pursuing passion in your marriage. 
  • Initiate a sexual encounter in a creative way, especially if your spouse always initiates.
  • Read the Song of Solomon out loud together each night before bed.
  • Plan a date that revolves around something your spouse enjoys.

2. Have fun.

When was the last time you did something with the purposeful intention of just having fun together? One of my fav things my husband and I have in common is a love for laughter. Actually, his ability to make me laugh was one of the reasons I fell head over heals for him.

  • Plan a spontaneous adventure and surprise your spouse with it. This could be a night away (minus kids) or even a little mini-date. 
  • See a funny movie together, or take in a comedy show.
  • Let your hair down and get silly: have a pillow fight or a tickle war.

3. Be positive.

Remember the reasons you fell in love with your spouse? It’s super easy to focus on what annoys us about our spouse, but that is definitely a passion killer. Passion can’t co-exist with negativity. So, develop a habit of being grateful and appreciative. Guard your heart against taking the good parts of your marriage for granted.

  • Say thank you. Plain and simple. Thank them for big and little things. Thank them for doing dishes, laundry or fixing your car. I even thank my husband for just loving me (because I am fully aware there are days that can’t be easy). 
  • Sit down together and make a list of the top five body parts you love (and think are super hot) about your spouse. (guys…your wife is likely in a body-image battle, even if you think she shouldn’t be. this will mean the absolute world to her)

4. Pray Together

I have to admit, when we bow our heads to pray Sunday mornings, I can’t wait to slip my hand into my husbands. There is just something so amazingly intimate about praying together! I totally understand that not everyone is comfortable praying out loud {read this as ME} but it’s so worth it. Just gather up the courage and pray with your man!

  • As soon as you lay down in bed, and the lights are out, hold hands and take turns praying. 
  • If you are too intimidated, start out with baby steps and start praying out loud before meals.


May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
Proverbs 5:18-19


These are just a few ways to cultivate intimacy in marriage. If you and your husband have a special way of creating intimacy in marriage, I’d love to hear it! Please share in the comments below to encourage other wives!

Embarrass Your Littles

Kids love seeing their parents get affectionate, whether they admit it or not. Sure, you might hear shouts of “gross”, “ewwwwww” or “get a room”. But deep down, they don’t hate it nearly as much as they let on. Normally, the shouts are said with a smile on their face.

I think it’s great for kids to see Mom and Dad putting their relationship first. Most of the time, especially in today’s society, the opposite happens. Parents are making their kids a priority and at the end of the day, they just don’t have any time left for each other.

It’s really important that our kids can watch us giving our spouse love and respect. That they can see we are still pursuing our spouses heart. The byproduct is that my kids see their parents dating. When children see their parents giving each other time, affection, and respect it is a reassurance of our love and makes them feel secure.

Our kids are watching us. They are learning to be comfortable with affection and to be affectionate with their own partner in the long run. Kiss your husband, dance with him and hold his hand. Pursue his heart. Show them your romance. What an absolutely perfect place for them to learn about love!

Here is one of my fav stories…

A few years ago the kids and I went to visit my Grandma in the nursing home. We were there during lunch and sat in the dining room with her. There were many tables in the room with people scattered around them. One table in particular caught my attention. The entire table was empty except for an elderly man and woman, sitting right beside each other on one side. I thought it was totally cute and figured they were married. Grandma told me they weren’t married, they were just “dating”. Which made it even cuter.

On the drive home, the kids and I were talking about that couple and how cute it is that they are “dating” when they are probably in their 80’s or older. And Jade made a statement that not only made me laugh but also made me stop and think that maybe, just maybe, her Dad and I ARE showing them what marriage should look like.

Jade said…”When I’m old, I hope my husband still slaps my butt when I walk past him”

Now I’m not saying by any means that Joe and I are inappropriate BUT we are a very affectionate family. “I love you” is a daily statement in our household between all of us. Hugs and kisses are never ever spared. And yes, there might be an occasional butt slap when I walk past him.

We are not only telling our kids what a happy, healthy marriage looks like, we are showing them. Go ahead, embarrass your littles. Show them you’re healthy marriage. Pursue your husbands heart and plant a big ole’ smootch on him today.