Last week, as I was cleaning my new office space in my home, I came across a box. As I opened the lid and peeked inside, I saw it was filled with old pictures. Instantly my heart soared.

As I’ve said before, I am enamored with old photos. So much so that it sparked this insatiable craving to take pictures of people. To me, pictures are priceless treasures. I found a box full of moments, perfectly captured, allowing me to travel back in time.

I settled down on the floor, sitting indian style and pulling the box over in front of me. As I started rifling through the photos, I realized what I was actually looking at. A smile graced my lips. I was looking at love letters, in pictures, my parents had sent back and forth while they were dating. My dad was in the military and stationed across the country. So their only way of communication was through letters and pictures.

At first, I felt like I had barged into a secret diary. But I just couldn’t stop looking, reading and smiling. This is where the legacy of love began. The legacy that was passed to me and now on to my children.

And now the tears begin.

These pictures, so innocent and hopeful, with no idea of the future. Thinking about all of the highs, lows, and wonderful things they’ve experienced together over the years brought me to tears. They had no sense of the struggles they would eventually face. They had no idea they would someday have to hold each other through cancer, the death of loved ones and lost jobs. That one day they would travel to another state and adopt the sweetest baby girl ever. They had one thing…love.

Through that love, and devotion to each other, they sat such an amazing example of marriage and parenting for me. Every day, they wrote more of their legacy together. A legacy that will be remembered in lives long past their days on this earth. When we say words like legacy or inheritance, money or heirlooms usually come to mind. But the legacy I’m speaking of is different. It’s a legacy of priceless and intangible things. They’ve built a legacy of loving God, loving others before yourself and having a selfless heart.

I was given directly by God a family with two parents who are still married. I was given a family where both sets of grandparents were married until their dying day.  A family that bonds closer together during tough times rather than throwing in the towel.  At times, I wonder how I got so lucky…to be hand-picked by God and placed into this amazing family. Like a whisper in the wind I’m reminded that luck had nothing to do with it. This is part of my story, the one He wrote long before I was born.

They are incredible parents, living out a legacy of love passed down from both of their parents! They have never tried to be perfect, but they have tried to love me and others well and show us the best example of Christ that they could. They know how to fight when the enemy brings the battle close to home and they know how to praise when another battle is won. They are my legacy of love. 

It’s no secret, we rushed to get married.  Hello…met in February, engaged in March and married in June.  If that’s not rushing, I don’t know what is.  But we didn’t get married for the reason most thought.  We simply were ready for our happily ever after to begin.  Oh, how naively we went into marriage.

Marriage is amazing and I love it, but it’s nothing like I thought it would be. Lately, I’ve been thinking of what I wish I had known before I got married. Things that would have made it easier to avoid some of our mistakes and to not fall into the traps couples so often do. Marriage introduces challenges that couples just simply aren’t prepared for.

Marriage is not about living happily ever after – If we were honest, we all crave a fairy-tale and a happy ending.  I know I sure did. The problem isn’t wanting a fairy-tale romance but trying to compare your marriage and your spouse to those whirlwind romances in the movies. Open your heart up to Gods love first and He will show you how to truly love your husband without unreal expectations.

Marriage is not all about you – That’s a hard lesson to learn, isn’t it?  Contrary to what the world tells you, it’s not about your happiness. It’s not about getting your needs met. It’s about going through life together and serving God and each other. It’s about committing yourselves to each other, even though you may be different people in the years to come.

The more you put into your marriage, the more you’ll get out of it – Marriage takes a lot of work and time, there is no doubt about that. Realize that straight away and commit to it. Go into marriage knowing your not going to  have a 50/50 marriage, but a 100/100 marriage.  Give your all because you love them, not because you expect something in return.

You can’t do it on your own – Marriage is difficult. That is obvious when you see how many couples end in divorce. It’s two imperfect people living together, failing daily.  The only way to make your marriage truly work is to center it on Christ. God intended marriage to mirror His relationship with the church so that we could basically be a testimony to others and SHOW them what God is like. You have to rely on God for wisdom, power, love and strength for your marriage.

Make time for each other a priority – Make any time together into a mini-date. Whether it is running to the grocery store or a quick little ride on the 4-wheeler together. Snuggle in, hold hands and make that time together count.

Do y’all remember the parable of the Good Samaritan?  Anytime I think of Bible stories like this one, that I heard as a child, I can help but replay it in my head in flannelgraph form.  This is a story told by Jesus to illustrate a point.  Let’s read the story:

As much as we like to think of our men as superheros, they aren’t immune to the attacks of the world.  They are the first line of defense for our family.  They get attacked and hurt.  They struggle and fall.  Their circumstances make them feel alone, just the way the enemy wants them to feel.

Attacks can look different for each man.  It could be financial problems, pornography addiction, health issues, alcohol or drug addiction, unfaithfulness or losing their way from Christ.  Every single one of these issues can leave husbands feeling alone, worthless and not knowing where to turn.

When your husband is the one hurting, laying alongside the road, do you rush to help him?  Or do you walk past, thinking “he needs to get over it”, “I just don’t have time” or “it’s not my problem, he did it to himself”.  It’s so easy to get caught up in our own selfish world, becoming just like the priest and Levite, and not wanting to stop and take the time to help our husbands.

Ladies, it’s time to become the Good Samaritan wife.

As we can see from the verses above, the Good Samaritan felt for him.  He bandaged his wounds, look him to an inn and took care of him.  Are you willing to do that?

As wives, we are each called to be our husband’s helpmate.  It doesn’t say we should only help him when things are running smoothly.  Being a helpmate is about so so so much more than that!  It is about helping to lift him when he falls. It is about lightening my husband’s load so that he’s free to carry the burden of leading and providing for our family. It’s about being a listening ear when needed. It’s about being his cheerleader. It’s about being whatever he needs us to be.

Heal.  Remember we are helpmates.  We should want to promote healing, not stir the pot.  Don’t feed into anger.  Instead, look for the positives and point your husband’s heart to the cross.