Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

Does The World Hate Girls?

My 14 year old daughter was told something yesterday that broke my heart {and made her 16 year old brother mad}…the only women that wait until marriage to have sex are either molested or are perfect little Christian girls.

I shouldn’t be surprised, but, I was.  I knew purity wasn’t something being taught but I didn’t sure didn’t imagine there was a belief that to be a virgin you must have been molested.  My heart was so saddened.

When did the world start hating our daughters?  How do we raise girls in a world that obviously devalues them?  How do we encourage purity when the rest of the world hates it?

The world does it’s very best every single day to degrade the marriage bed. Purity isn’t something that is admired in the world, it’s mocked to no end. In fact, I saw a quote online that said “virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity”. You can even buy a t-shirt with that quote on it.  I was reading an article on purity and, as you can imagine, people were tearing it apart. There were comments such as “Purity isn’t a reality in this day and age,” “Sex outside marriage is not wrong,” and “Abstinence doesn’t work”.

We live in an anything-goes society. Although 80 percent of the country identifies themselves as Christians, sex outside marriage has become a common occurrence and is thought of as an event of little consequence. With statements of “Well what can you do” ringing through the air.

And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. 
Mark 10:8-9 

Sex is good. Hello, God created it…He called it “good,” and it existed before there was any sin in the world. Sex was not created by Satan, Playboy, the Internet or some creepy pervert lurking in the shadows of a porn shop. However, God wants us to keep sex within his intentions and requirements, not the world’s. God designed sex for the sacred union of marriage between a man and a woman, and reserves it for that union.



Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Hebrews 13:4
Purity is beautiful. Valuable. Precious. An amazing gift given to us by God to give to our spouse. There is a much better way, Gods way. His plan is certainly better than any we could make! God loves you and thinks you are so precious! He absolutely treasures you. He wants you to save your body and your heart for the one person you will spend your life with. The one person you will enter into that amazing covenant of marriage with. Think of what an amazing gift you would be able to give your future spouse on your wedding day. Not only would you be giving them your whole heart but you could also give them your whole body as well. What an awesome gift that would be!
Oh sweet Mama’s, don’t give up on your girls.  Don’t be embarrassed to talk to them about it.  I guarantee if you aren’t talking to them about it, someone is.  If you don’t tell them your views the world will be quick to them it’s view.  Tell them that purity is cool (although the world would never tell you that). Just look around, we are constantly bombarded by sex. When you fall in love, it’s natural to want to express your love in physical ways. But you also know God wants you to remain sexually pure—in both your actions and your thoughts. Sometimes it’s a tough balance, but showing love for another and remaining pure is possible. Respect yourself, respect your partner but most importantly respect God. And remember, you’re a lady! Make him treat you as one!

Girls…you are beautiful and perfect the way God made you, you are His masterpiece. You do NOT need to conform to what the media is trying to pressure you into. Don’t listen to the lies of the world. You are beautiful and precious just the way you are. Purity is where true freedom is found…the freedom of knowing that your Heavenly Father has your life all figured out and you are happy to just take the ride.


Our daughters are precious, intrinsically valuable and deserve better — they deserve to be cherished and protected. -Amy Gerwing


30 Life Lessons To Instill In Your Sons Heart

Boys will be boys, that’s for sure.  But the concept “well what can you do, they’re typical boys” doesn’t necessarily resonate with me.  I think so many times in this world, we give up on our sons before we give them a chance.

What we should be doing is teaching them to be gentlemen.  A godly, respectful, kind young man.  We are quick to remind our girls that they are daughters of the King, but how often do we remind our boys that they are a son of the King?  How can we do that?  By instilling important lessons in their heart.
  1. Love the Lord. Love Him with all your heart, mind and strength. {Luke 10:27}
  2. Respect her.  She is a lady, please treat her as one. {1 Peter 3:7}
  3. You are unique. You are God’s handiwork, crafted by Him and for His good pleasure. He uniquely designed you to be you alone, comfortable in your own skin. {Psalm 139:13}
  4. Respect your elders. Look them in the eye. Take the time to listen to what they have to say. I mean really listen. Shake their hand. Heed their advice.  And defend them if needed. {1 John 4:4}
  5. Choose a spouse that is also your best friend.  That will make you happiest in the end.
  6. Control your temper. When you get angry, calm down and start doing what God has called you to do. You can be bitter or better—it’s up to you! {Proverbs 29:11}
  7. Do what needs to be done. Without being told. Don’t wait to be asked when you know what you should do.  If you see it, do it.  
  8. Take telling. Consider it an opportunity to learn and grow. {Proverbs 3:11}
  9. Create your own path. Be ready to create your own path in life. You can choose the wide path or the narrow path, it is your choice.  Just be sure you choose wisely.
  10. Life is not a fairy-tale.  Life, love, and relationships are not like the movies.  
  11. Have a servant’s heart. Give back to your community. While you’re doing good for others, it really does the most for you! To humbly serve is a very manly quality. Don’t let anyone ever tell you differently. Follow Christ’s example. {Mark 10:45}
  12. Have integrity.  Strive to be honest and just. Work to develop a strong ethical foundation. Have a code of morals that you stick to. To be respected a man must a person of morals and live a godly life. Someday you will the head of your household and will need stability and common sense. A leader that is followed willingly is a man who has character and integrity.
  13. Love your neighbors. Leave your mark by loving each and every person your life touches, those who love you and those who don’t. Love has no conditions. It expects nothing in return. It gives freely, multiplies and grows. Do this and everything else will work itself out.  {Mark 12:31}
  14. Your wife should be the #1 woman in your life.  As much as it breaks my heart to say this, she should be before even me.  I’m confident that I’ve raised you with enough love in your heart for both of us. {Genesis 2:24}
  15. Don’t give in.  I’m sure you’ve already experience this pressure more than we know. Pressure to talk a certain way, to treat girls a certain way, to be disrespectful, to smoke, drink or do drugs. You don’t need any of those to have a good time. You possess the strength and character to walk away. God will help you stand. You don’t have to give in.
  16. Laugh! It’s the best stress reliever. One of the biggest gifts God has blessed you with is your sense of humor. Seriously, cannot even count how many times I’ve laughed to the point of my stomach hurting. We’ve had soooo many great times laughing in this household. Don’t ever forget how to laugh.  {Psalm 126:2}
  17. Keep your word. A gentleman follows through on what he says he will do.  {1 John 2:5}
  18. Don’t just settle for a spouse. Wait. God has just the right one for you.  We’ve been praying for her.  She is out there, right now, praying for you.  {Proverbs 18:22}
  19. Go on vacation with your family at least once a year. Families need to learn how to vacation with one another.  They need to learn how to spend time together, unplugged, and just enjoy each other.
  20. Be polite. Like Thumper’s mama said If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.  
  21. Be creative! You grew up with a mama wielding a glue gun in one hand and sequins in the other.  And a dad who sang crazy, made-up songs.  
  22. You are known by the friends you keep. Bad company corrupts good morals. {I Corinthians 15:33}
  23. I believe in you. I am so super confident that God is doing so many amazing things in your life, things you can’t even fathom right now. God has a purpose and plan for your life. Always follow His lead and He will take you amazing places. 
  24. Work hard. Be known as a hard worker. God wants us to work hard and do our jobs well. He wants us to be an example to the world of what good hard work can bring.  Remember, dirt washes off. {Proverbs 6:6}
  25. Credit cards are evil. Seriously. Live without debt. Money problems ruin marriages, friendships and jobs.
  26. Be a gentleman. Step back to let her in the door first.  Hold that door open for her.  Offer to carry heavy items for her. Protect and defend her.  
  27. Friendships are important. Invest in strong, loyal friendships. The kind of friend who “sticks closer than a brother” {Proverbs 18:24}
  28. Be soft.  Don’t ever be too “manly” to hold your wife’s hand, say I love you and kiss her goodnight.  Don’t ever be ashamed to let your daughter put makeup on you or have a tea party with her.    
  29. Take that second chance.  Sometimes it might even take a third, fourth and fifth chance. Every day is a new start. Use that brand new day to get it right, to kiss her face, to say no, to say I’m sorry, to ask forgiveness, to do it over and to make a new start. I want you to know that this is what God is about.  Grace.  He wants to give you as many chances as it takes, just don’t every stop taking them.
  30. It’s okay to cry.  It really is. Boys are always pushed so hard to be tough. But I want you to know real men are tender, they defend those who can’t defend themselves and they care about others. They cry when their beautiful wives walk down the aisle and when they see their sweet babies face for the first time. And it’s okay!

My job as a mother has been to create a home of love, laughter, security and nourishment. A home where you could cry without fear, grow without judgment, and discover without prejudice. Even though I’m not perfect and have failed at times {many, many times}, you need to know we are here for you always. And we are oh so so proud of you!!!


 

10 Ways To Encourage Your Teenage Daughter

We are raising daughters in such a difficult generation. A generation that is all about ME. A generation where the world and the media scream to them the most important things are power and beauty. As a mother of a teenage girl, I sadly see how young girls long to be popular. In the process, they claw their way to the top. And those they tramp on? Mere causalities. They lose focus of who they were created to be. Like you, I’ve been there myself.

They are inundated with messages through the internet, television, and magazines that remind them of how they don’t measure up to perfection.  All you have to do is look around a bit while you are in line at Walmart. Nearly every magazine will have a big breasted, half naked woman. What message does that send them? It says to be beautiful, to be attractive, to be wanted and to be worthy you MUST look like that. And if you don’t, well, you’re outta luck.

Every year, girls are engaging in sexual activity at younger and younger ages.  In fact, 23% of all 14 year olds are already sexually active.  There seems to be this huge surge of girls aggressively pursuing boys sexually.  Yeah, that makes this mama gray.

How can we help the hearts of our precious girls?  There are some super important things we must tell them.

1. Purity is cool. (although the world would never tell you that) Just look around, we are constantly bombarded by sex. When you fall in love, it’s natural to want to express your love in physical ways. But you also know God wants you to remain sexually pure—in both your actions and your thoughts. Sometimes it’s a tough balance, but showing love for another and remaining pure is possible. Respect yourself, respect your partner but most importantly respect God. And remember, you’re a lady! Make him treat you as one!

2. Your Worth Isn’t Based on Your Appearance. You are beautiful. Period. Not because of your lip-gloss shade or your new designer jeans. Not because you have on a sassy outfit and super cute new boots. Your worth is never found in your appearance, ever. You are beautiful simply because you were created in the image of God. You are a daughter of the King!

3.  It is absolutely okay to disagree with me.  It’s okay to disagree with others.  You are old enough to have a point of view, and I always want to hear it.  The only thing I ask is always voice your opinion respectfully.  As long as you do that, I will always always be willing to hear your side! 
4.  Modesty.  God gave us, as women, the gift of softness, femininity and beauty. It’s our responsibility to convey those without showing our sexuality. Allow your appearance to reflect your pure and virtuous heart. Know your worth and reflect it on the outside. Your body is a gift from God, honor it as such. I love this quote by Jessica Rey “Modesty isn’t about hiding ourselves, it’s about revealing our dignity”. We can absolutely dress beautifully without being out of fashion or immodest. The search might be a little harder but it’s not impossible. You will probably have to look past the racks they place at the front of the store but I promise it’s not an impossible task.

5.  You are not alone.  Ever. This could be one of the most heartbreaking realities I see among girls – they feel so desperately alone. I can absolutely remember being a teen girl, in a room full of people, yet feeling completely alone. It’s so easy as a young girl to just focus on that loneliness. But remember, you are never alone. God is always with you and I am forever here for you. Give your loneliness to Christ and open your heart for Jesus to show you companionship as He never has before. Embrace that.

6.  Have a servants heart.  It is so so important to love with a servants heart, to have empathy for those who are lost and hurting. After all, Jesus did say the second greatest commandment was to love your neighbors. Reaching out to others, being the hands and feet of Jesus, is one of the greatest callings we have in our faith. Not only does it show the love of Christ for the world, it’s also an opportunity for us to worship God and for us to grow more like Jesus. In today’s world, there is such a focus on self and it is a daily struggle to instead turn our hearts away from self. Take time. Be humble. Keep on. Love.

7. You were uniquely designed you to be YOU. You are His perfectly perfect creation, handcrafted by the same hands that made the stars. Jesus skillfully crafted the body, mind and soul of each and every human being while she was in her mother’s womb. So the next time your self-esteem is lacking or you feel not as pretty, thin, popular, etc. as the next person, just smile and thank the God who made you, died for you, and wants the best for you.

8. Honor your parents.  I know, I know.  I say this and all you hear is the peanuts teacher in your head. Blah blah blah. But this is a big one girlies! God gave one commandment to children, obey your parents. This is more than just obeying them, it’s treating them like important people. It’s treating them with love and respect. Sometimes we are asked to do hard things that we don’t understand, don’t want to do, don’t feel like doing or that anger us. But remember, when we obey God we always know that he will bless us and make us happy.

9. You will never be perfect.  God does not demand our perfection to get His love.  Wow, isn’t that a relief?  God knows there is no possible way any of us could ever be perfect.  Ever.  But if you’ve put your faith in Jesus and received Him into your life then you’ve been declared righteous.  Let’s say that again, if you’ve received Jesus into your life you’ve been declared righteous!  You are covered under His grace, declared righteous and are precious in His eyes and you are held in the hand of His care. You are HIS and he loves you unconditionally.

10.  Guard your heart. You are to keep your heart safe and guard it from attack. Just a quick little side note…because everyone else is doing it is not a good excuse. There is a real war going on right now over your soul. Every single day satan prowls around and looks for an opportunity to pounce on your heart. You must be a warrior princess, put on the armor of God and guard your heart against attack. You need to be on guard about the occult, sexual sin, vanity, envy, greed, sassyness, gossip, lying, anger and pride.

I’m raising a daughter in this crazy world. I won’t always be there to protect her (oh how I wish I could) so I will tell her the truth. I can’t change the world, but I can prepare her for it.