Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

An Open Letter to my Daughter on Her Sixteenth Birthday

Jadie…

I sure do love you Jadie-babe. Please know that down to your core. Always know I love you, think about you, hope for you and wish for you joy, love and oh-so-much happiness in your life.

Where did the years go? It seems like just yesterday your Dad, Joey and I were waiting to meet you. Anxious to know what you looked like. Would you be a blondie like your brother or a brunette? Would you have any hair at all? Whose eyes would you have? What would your laugh sound like?

We had so many questions.

And then 16 years ago today, all of our questions were answered.  I became a mother for the second time around. They placed you safely in my arms and I fell in love with that sweet little dark haired, round faced girl.

I credit you for teaching me one of life’s most important lessons…when I was only a mother to Joey, I often wondered if it was possible to love any other child with the depth and intensity and ferociousness that I felt for him. I couldn’t imagine it. But when you were born my world got a little bit brighter, my heart cracked open a bit more and our lives felt complete.  I can clearly remember the day we brought you home…I was sitting on the couch nursing you while Joey played and I glanced at both of you and in my heart I knew my life was complete.

I cannot believe that today you are turning 16. It seems like only yesterday that I rocked you, while singing you are my sunshine, until you fell asleep. Only seems a short time ago that I was watching you take your first steps. Of course those first steps quickly turned to running to chase your brother around the house, with mouth wide open, in hopes of biting him. How many times I watched you spread your littlest pet shops on the living room floor and play with them for hours. And oh, how many times I watched you come down the stairs with the craziest outfits on we’ve ever saw, proudly proclaiming you were ready to go to Jesus {church}.

 
I am so grateful for you, Jade. You are amazing and one-of-a-kind. You are hilarious, passionate, filled with a strong sense of right and wrong, artistic and oh so caring.

Oh my beautiful Jade…cherish your body. Look at it and know it’s beauty and strength. When you look in the mirror, be grateful for your vision. Notice the potato nose passed to you from your father. The beautiful blue eyes given to you from your Great-Grandmother. And your curves given to you from your Mama.  Being a woman is a gift.  Always remember God gave us, as women, the gift of softness, femininity and beauty. It’s our responsibility to convey those with respect. Allow your appearance to reflect your pure and virtuous heart. Know your worth and reflect it on the outside. Your body is a gift from God!

You have such a tender heart filled with
compassion and mercy.  And in that tender heart there has always been a place for children with special needs.  I will never forget how upset you were when a boy with special needs was being picked on in school.  You immediately jumped in and put him under your wing.  If that meant you taking the teasing for him, you were willing to do that.  You
developed an instinct and desire to protect them by going through your own struggles with Dyslexia.  You’ve never once been afraid to step in and defend someone when it was called for.  You are aware of
how great and wide God’s love for you is and you share that with others.


God has a purpose and plan for your life Jadie.
 Always follow His lead and He will take you amazing places.  You are
God’s handiwork, crafted by Him and for His good pleasure.  He uniquely designed
you to be you alone, comfortable in your own skin.  Never will there be another Jade.  Never will someone else impact the lives you have and will in the
future as only you can.

Your sense of humor and ability to be absolutely random is truly amazing.  That coupled with your personality is magnetic, drawing people to you. You are the type of person people want to be around!  You make them happy, make them laugh and make them feel good. That is a gift Jade, a gift obviously given to you by God.  We’ve had soooo many great times laughing in this household. Thank you for making me laugh.   

If there is only one thing I want you to remember and lock in your heart, it’s this: love the Lord with all your heart, mind, and strength, and love your neighbors as yourself. These truths, combined with the strength of your wonderful character, have the power to change the world.

I am so very proud of the young Christian woman you’ve grown into. With so much sin and worldly ways around you, you aren’t afraid to take a stand for what you believe in. You set your values in your heart long ago, and you aren’t willing to waver on them. Nor are you afraid to tell them to others. Your views on modesty, pre-marital sex and drinking can be heard during so many conversations you have among friends. But yet, you have a grace about you that doesn’t look down on others for not having the same opinion as you. I absolutely am so proud of you for that!

My job as a mother is to create a home of love, laughter and security where you can cry without fear, grow without judgment, and discover without prejudice. Even though I’m not perfect and have failed at times {many, many times}, you need to know we are here for you always.

The hardest thing I’m ever going to have to do is allow you to spread your wings and fly. But you’re a child of God, only loaned to me for a while. I cannot wait to see what your future holds, the joys and challenges that await you, the legacy your life will create.

I want you to know that being your mother is the single greatest privilege in the world. You have made every single day a complete joy.

Love you my baby girl,
Mama
xoxo

Embarrass Your Littles

Kids love seeing their parents get affectionate, whether they admit it or not. Sure, you might hear shouts of “gross”, “ewwwwww” or “get a room”. But deep down, they don’t hate it nearly as much as they let on. Normally, the shouts are said with a smile on their face.

I think it’s great for kids to see Mom and Dad putting their relationship first. Most of the time, especially in today’s society, the opposite happens. Parents are making their kids a priority and at the end of the day, they just don’t have any time left for each other.

It’s so important that our kids can watch us giving our spouse love and respect. That they can see we are still pursuing our spouses heart. The byproduct is that my kids see their parents dating. When children see their parents giving each other time, affection, and respect it is a reassurance of our love and makes them feel secure.

Our kids are watching us. They are learning to be comfortable with affection and to be affectionate with their own partner in the long run. Kiss your husband, dance with him and hold his hand. Pursue his heart. Show them your romance. What an absolutely perfect place for them to learn about love!

Here is one of my fav stories…

A few years ago the kids and I went to visit my Grandma in the nursing home. We were there during lunch and sat in the dining room with her. There were many tables in the room with people scattered around them. One table in particular caught my attention. The entire table was empty except for an elderly man and woman, sitting right beside each other on one side. I thought it was totally cute and figured they were married. Grandma told me they weren’t married, they were just “dating”. Which made it even cuter.

On the drive home, the kids and I were talking about that couple and how cute it is that they are “dating” when they are probably in their 80’s or older. And Jade made a statement that not only made me laugh but also made me stop and think that maybe, just maybe, her Dad and I ARE showing them what marriage should look like.

Jade said…”When I’m old, I hope my husband still slaps my butt when I walk past him”

Now I’m not saying by any means that Joe and I are inappropriate BUT we are a very affectionate family. I love you is a daily statement in our household between all of us. Hugs and kisses are never, ever spared. And yes, there might be an occasional butt slap when I walk past him.

We are not only telling our kids what a happy, healthy marriage looks like, we are showing them. Go ahead, embarrass your littles. Show them you’re healthy marriage. Pursue your husbands heart and plant a big ole’ smooch on him today.

An Open Letter to My Son on His Graduation

Dear Joey:

Love is not easy to put into words, especially a mother’s love, the depth of which is unfathomable.

From the very beginning, I knew you weren’t mine to keep. When you were little, an amazing woman reminded me that you weren’t mine to keep, you had only been loaned to me by God.  And with that, I gave you to Him. God’s grace is an active part of your life, has been from that day. His promises to us are your promises too. They always will be.

When I look at you now, tall and strong, I don’t just see an eighteen-year-old man, I see you in all of your life’s stages at once. I see you as a newborn in my arms in the shadows of midnight, a blur of blonde hair racing down the stairs in Barney pajamas on Christmas morning, the jeans and tractor shirt of a pre-schooler not sure why he has to go to school, the tender realization in your eight-year-old brown eyes that your karate instructor was asking you to spar a girl. {Who knew that not hitting girls didn’t apply in sports?} You promptly refused, and allowed her to win every time you were paired up.

I remember a well-worn grave digger back pack, the white corsage of a 6th grade graduate, the constant daily black t-shirts and puffy shoes that were middle school, dirty football uniforms, the proud new driver, and now, a man.

The recent images run together in a blur.


Teaching you to drive – and the first time you took a vehicle out without me or Dad. A million 4-wheeler rides! Your Baptism at church, with your Dad and sister. Last good-byes said to a loving Great-Grandmother, Meme and Papa Puddin.

This Mama is so privileged to have enjoyed such focused time with my littles. Long walks, shopping, pools, beaches, cooking, movies; transporting you and your sister to a million practices and back.  One thing we have always kept a priority…family time.  How blessed am I to have littles that enjoy it just as much as I do.

As much as a mother raises her son, so does a son raise his mother. You have taught me so very many things as I have watched you grow. From you I have learned the power of a tender heart as I have witnessed your quiet kindness to others all of your life. (Though there was that rough patch when you were nearly asked to leave daycare because you punched a boy that was being inappropriate with your little sister) You were always willing to jump in and be friends with anyone, simply because you knew they needed one.


You taught me how to find joy in the moment and to laugh at even the hardest situations. You have such a gift of making others laugh. Your sarcastic humor is a constant source of delight that lightens our days. It reminds us to relax and not take everything so seriously. Movie quotes, song lyrics and statues…such laughter!! We’ve laughed till we’ve cried {well, at least I did}. You’ve always kept our household happy!

You have always been crazy and supplied us with endless stories to tell! From the time you were so upset that “Jade gets all the cool girl toys” to telling people your Papa killed a deer with a weed eater, and that’s how you lost your toe.

You used to have the most horrendous fights with your sister. Oh, the fights…I thought they would never end. It has transformed into the sweetest sibling relationship. The bond you have is one of the most amazing, happiest things to watch.

Each chapter you go through in life has a specific lesson that God, in His all knowing wisdom, sees that you must learn. Painful chapters draw us near to Him, and joyful chapters let us rejoice in Him. Both are important.  Remember, as Pastor said, to never allow your light to go out!  Each morning when you wake up, look down at your arm and see that word tattoo’d on it…faith!  And allow your faith in Jesus to dictate your daily path.

Bubby, I love you. You have brought such happiness into our home, such unbounded joy, such faith.  You are the son that every mother dreams of having. I could not be more thankful for you and proud of the man you have become. Your character and integrity are important to you. You have been blessed with height and people will have to look up to you during your lifetime, the important thing is to make them want to.

And we love you. We love you in the knowledge that though our love is imperfect, flawed by our own weakness and fear, God’s love is pure, welcoming, and relentless. Where our love may not see clearly, God’s love cuts through the fog with clarity and truth. Where our love is strong, God’s love is stronger. And where our love in its imperfection may seem sometimes to hurt, God’s love – which is perfect – will always heal.

I love you Joey, and I couldn’t be prouder of the man you’ve become!

Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13, 7-8.