Getting Over It

I have spent the last few months walking around in sadness.  I’m sure you’ve read my posts about losing joy and finding my Christmas.  I’m sure y’all could have guessed I was walking through a valley.  It’s true, I was.  I had lost a friend, someone I had left into my inner circle of circles.  Someone I trusted, wholeheartedly.  Someone I thought was the sister I never had, sent directly to me by God.  Our families were woven together.  Losing that broke me more than anyone, even myself, could imagine.

I love having lots of friends. After growing up an only child, my friends are my siblings. I especially cherish close friends. You know what I mean, the ones who know you in-and-out and the friendship just feels comfortable and familiar. Asking me to get rid of a friend is like asking for a vital organ. And that’s exactly what this has felt like…like a part of me was taken. I’m sure a few of you have just rolled your eyes and thought “oh she is sooooo over-exaggerating”. I wish you could see my heart.

I needed to realize their brokenness. I had been playing the victim when really they were the ones hurting. God softened my heart and helped me to see the ways in which this former friend suffers and struggles in life. In fact, it was those very insecurities or wounds that often caused them to treat me the way that they did. By leveling the playing field and remembering that we’re all broken humans clumsily trying to follow Christ, God helped me to see these ex-friends the way He does: Sinners desperately in need of grace. It didn’t happen over night, but it happened.  Thank goodness because this girl right here is tired of being sad!