Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

{Semi} Wordless Wednesday

Why I’m Not Raising A Feminist Daughter

I’m a wife, Mama, daughter, sister, friend, blogger, business owner and former feminist.

My Dad always told me I could do anything, whether it be putting shingles on a roof, putting a universal joint in his ’69 Chevy or dragging out the acetylene tanks and welding. I don’t blame this on my Daddy, he had GREAT intentions. And I’m so thankful of the knowledge he taught me.

I’m the one who took it and turned it into a heart issue.

I grew up thinking I could do anything that a man could do. And if a man told me I couldn’t do it, I would make sure to prove him wrong. I wanted to be viewed as strong and independent. I even took the words “honor and obey” out of my vows. No one was going to control me, especially not my husband.

And then I became a Mama.

As my babies were growing up, I realized I couldn’t align myself with feminism anymore. Their message is the opposite of what I’m teaching my kids.

I’m teaching my daughter modesty, they feel it’s patriarchy. I’m teaching my son to be a gentleman, they feel it’s benevolent sexism. I’m teaching my daughter to be submissive to her husband, they feel that’s degrading. I’m teaching my son to be hard-working and provide for his family, they feel that they can provide for themselves. I’m teaching my daughter purity, they feel your body is yours to do with what you please. I’m teaching my son to treat his wife like a princess, they feel that’s offensive.

I simply cannot align myself with a message that has morphed into something accusatory, degrading, offensive and opposed to the morals and messages I am teaching my kids.

I’m actually super excited we are raising our littles the way we are, the opposite of how the world would have them raised. I want my son to be chivalrous, to open doors and carry heavy loads. I want my daughter to be told she’s beautiful. I want my son to take his fiance out on a date and pay the bill without expecting anything in return. I want my daughter to know she can depend on her husband. I want my littles to know the beauty of a Christ-centered marriage.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2

The recent feminist campaigns are so degrading, I can’t help but feel they lost their direction amongst the shuffle of finding issues to fight for. Their messages come across so crass and offensive, it actually muddies the water and their direction is no longer clear.

With God, we have clear direction. We have a perfect owners manual for life in the Bible. And in the Bible we see that while we are created equal, we were given specific roles.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church,his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
Ephesians 5:23-25

I recently came across something that baffled me and shook me to my core, feminist Christians.  Their strong opinions left my head reeling.  They don’t believe in biblical gender roles, submission or mamas staying at home.  If you support any of those things and speak out in support, you’re labeled as legalistic.  I was shocked, to say the least, at the disrespect they showed towards men and how easily they belittled them.  
I just caution you to beware of the teachings you follow.  It’s so easy to be lead astray by ministries that seem to be flashy and pretty on the outside.  It’s not until you delve deeper that you find their core belief system is skewed. 
But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. 2 And many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of truth will be blasphemed. 3 And in their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.
2 Peter 2:1-3

And that my friends is why we are teaching submission, headship and living a Christ-centered marriage. While it might not be the worlds opinion, we are following Gods word. That will bring joy, peace, contentment, fulfillment and freedom! And in turn, your life will bring glory to God. Isn’t that what it’s all about?

Walking Through Valleys

I’m scared to write this piece.

I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I don’t want to make a mistake and offend anyone. I don’t want my words skewed into something I don’t mean. I don’t want to make assumptions of others hearts.  And I don’t want to cause a problem where there isn’t one.

So, I’ve staid quiet. Well, semi-quiet. But today, I’m taking a step and laying it on the line.

As most of my mornings start, I grabbed my cup of pumpkin spice coffee and sat at my desk. Quiet early mornings are my favorite. I logged into Facebook and looked at the screen. Staring at the screen for a moment, I mumbled to myself: Doesn’t God care about my feelings?

To be honest, I am walking in a wilderness right now. A wilderness full of friends walking hand-in-hand, while I walk alone.

I knew my heart had been churning and aching. I knew tears had been flowing. But this was the first day these words bubbled to the surface: God owes me this.

After all the years I have worked for the Lord and been faithful, and this is what I get? I deserve better than this. I deserve more.

God, why did you give me a heart for friendship and fellowship but then not give me anyone to share it with?

Where was God when I needed Him the most? When I sat at home, tearful and lonely, while others enjoyed lunch dates and laughter?

This has been a hard and messy time in my life. Throughout all my surgeries, I never questioned God. Throughout my ongoing health issues, I’ve never questioned God. Throughout every trial, I’ve known He had my best interest at heart.

Until now.

Those words leaving my mouth shocked me. I sat there with my head in my hands, tears rolling down my face.

To be honest, I’m lonely.

And nothing reinforces that loneliness more than social media. A quick scroll through Facebook can make me easily feel lonely, discouraged and empty.I have 875 friends I’m connected to, yet I feel lonelier than I ever have. My hearts desire is to to be loved and treasured by friends.  I have a heart that has an overflowing craving for friendship and fellowship.

How is it even possible to be a lonely believer? Sounds like such an oxymoron, doesn’t it? I know that Jesus is my best friend, so how am I still lonely? I have my husband and children. I have my parents next door. I have a Mama I talk to daily. I have two dogs, two cats and 42 chickens. I have a life that boarders on crazy from time to time. How is it possible among all of that for me to feel lonely? Why does it make me feel guilty to even admit loneliness?

David, “a man after God’s own heart”, was lonely. In Psalm 25:16 he said to the Lord, “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” David was lonely! Wow, so a man after God’s own heart, a man who clearly wasn’t afraid of anything, was lonely and felt isolated.I’m not sure exactly what my soul is craving, but God knows. And in that gap between my longing and Him fulfilling the fellowship I desire, I’m choosing to trust His timing. It might possibly be the hardest thing I’ve done y’all.

At that exact moment I did the only thing my heart would, I went directly to sit at my Fathers feet.

Through my tears, I heard a still-small voice saying Fellowship with me, give me your heart and your troubles. I will never abandon you even when others do.

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I’m going to be honest, It’s tough to hope and trust in God when life looks bleak.

I know the devil uses our emptiness against us.  And the words that so easily left my mouth are a perfect example of that. It’s so easy to feel self pity, self-centeredness, bitterness, anger and jealousy. And it’s so easy to put a band aid on the pain. I am reminded now more than ever that I need to find my comfort through God and trust Him and His timing.

As I write this post through tears, many tears, my heart is calm knowing I’m allowing Him to fill the gap. I’m choosing to trust in Him, delight in His timing and allow Him to fill the hole inside of me.