With summer quickly approaching, there is something my Facebook feed is normally filled with…body shaming. Thin girls shaming big girls. Big girls shaming thin girls. Comments like “dress for the body you have, not the body you want”, “I really wish heavy girls wouldn’t wear shorts” and “I can see your ribs, go eat something”. These comments always break my heart and make me angry.
So very many of us women {and girls} suffer from low self-esteem, no matter what size we are. Normally all our self-esteem issues revolve around our physical appearance. We are obsessed about our weight, hair, skin, facial features and so many other areas. You would be hard pressed to find a woman that would not change at least one thing about her appearance. Why do we find it so hard to love ourselves?
And yet, we are so quick to cut other women down for simply looking different than us. Just because she has big breasts doesn’t mean she’s a whore, just because she is thin doesn’t mean she is anorexic and just because she’s bigger doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be able to wear shorts. It simply means God made us all different.
I have lived life in a size 12 body and a size 24 body, and every size in between. I have been called fat, a cow and lots of other names. I have been told I have such a pretty face, if I would just lose some weight. Mean words that are said without a second though, but they stay in my head for years. I have carried oh-so-much shame around with me over those years. And it seemed no amount of self-help books, dieting or trying to sort it out in my head ever worked. I had an unhealthy and unfortunate amount of shame and self-loathing toward my body. I could not imagine why God would give other girls perfect bodies then give me this one. And to be honest, I was a little mad at Him for that.
Learning to love myself regardless of my size was one of the most crucial turning points.
Y’all, we need to start helping to build each other up rather than tear each other down. All bodies are good bodies. All bodies are real bodies. All bodies are worthy of love and respect.
Women today are exposed SO MUCH to what society sees as the ideal body. The perfect hourglass shape with no arm flab, a thigh gap, full lips, perfect breasts, and a flat tummy. And if you don’t have those, then you aren’t beautiful. We believe from the time we are little girls that we must have these things. If we’re not the ideal beautiful, then we should be ashamed and not feel like we are good enough.
“I am unwaveringly ME; and the same goes for YOU. No matter what you’re struggling with, embrace what you have to offer, love yourself right this minute and start affecting positive change for yourself and others.”—Whitney
Don’t believe the lies. Chances are you are basing your actions on lies rather than truth. If you are like most women, you have been told (either directly or indirectly) that your worth is rooted in your appearance. That is an absolute lie. It’s not that pretty and girly things are bad (like make-up, attractive appropriate clothing and a stylish haircut)… it’s that those pretty things are not who we are. We are all made in Gods image. Every single one of us. Do you know what that means? I am beautiful, so are YOU, because we are daughters of the King and we were made in His image. Take a moment and let that sink in. You are perfectly perfect and what He wants you to be. Your value is not in your breasts, hips, hair, lips, eye color, skin tone or stomach muscles.
Buy clothing that fits. And clothes that you feel comfortable, sexy, pulled together and happy in. STOP WORRYING ABOUT THE SIZE ON THE LABEL. There is nothing worse than feeling like you have to starve yourself for a week to fit into that dress you bought a size too small, because you just couldn’t bring yourself to buy a size 6/14/24/whatever. Getting stressed about getting dressed in the morning has an unfortunate way of ruining your entire day.
Get active. Take a stand. Love yourself. Be positive. Accept compliments. Don’t buy into the media “image” hype. Talk to your husband about the lies the media loves to force feed us. Enlighten your children about authentic beauty, authentic sexual intimacy and God’s plan for marriage
I can be confident. You can be confident. We can all be confident. We can walk through this world with heads and hearts held high as daughters of the King. Daughters who are messy and broken. With Him, we are transformed into beautiful simply because we are His. Understand your identity in Him and the beauty and freedom He bestows on us and the love He extends to us.
