Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

Judging Others

This is a subject God has been laying on my heart for quite a while now. And I kept saying “Awwwww God, are you sure? This is a hard topic!”. I seriously doubted I could do it and I made a million excuses as to why I couldn’t. Honestly, I’ve been putting it off. It’s a risky subject to talk about. It’s a subject that every. single. person. in the world likes to weigh in on. As I keep putting it off, God keeps nudging me and has met me at my doubts. He even put a book in my path that was filled with this topic. Finally, today, I’m trusting Him with it.

The topic…judging others.

First of all, let me get it out there: I am a recovering judge. Not the good kind, who approaches sinners in love and addresses sin in a biblical manner. But the bad kind, who casts judgment with a condescending glance {y’all, I have this look down pat}, a whispered tsk-tsk and an eye roll. When I was first married, my husband would say “You think you’re so much better than them” and I would promptly respond with “No, I know I’m better than them”. I know, I know…not my most shining moment as a Christian. I’m telling y’all, I bet working on this girls heart wore God out some days!

How many times have we all heard ‘Don’t Judge Me’, ‘Judge not’, ‘Stop Judging and Love’, ‘Who am I to judge?’ or other similar ones these days. And I’m sure we’ve all saw the quote below. I see it just about daily either on a friends Facebook wall or pinned on their Pinterest. While I agree, we all do sin differently, I was curious about this subject from a Biblical perspective.

As Christians, we are often accused of being judgmental. Goodness, poor Phil Robertson created two media crazystorms being accused of being judgmental. As soon as you start talking about judging, the first verse pulled out is Matthew 7:1, Judge not, that ye be not judged.

I do agree with this…tearing others down, judging harshly, judging their hearts, making rash and unkind judgments is all wrong. Totally wrong. It’s absolutely not our place to judge others hearts. There is only one person that can do that, God.

But if we were all honest, don’t we all judge every day? Don’t we all make calls every day based on wisdom and discernment? Y’all, that’s judging! As a Mama, don’t you judge television shows to see if your kids can watch them? As a wife, don’t you judge what actions you should and shouldn’t do? Don’t we make daily calls on what is wise to spend our money on? And hello, have you ever sat on a jury? Yep, that was all you judging someone. So can we really actually say we should all just stop judging?

Did Jesus judge others? I mean, surely He came into contact with tons of sinners. How did He handle it? When Jesus encountered people who were caught in sin, first He showed them love, (the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery), then He told them to go and sin no more. He never insisted they stop sinning first.

Wow. So before He judged them, He loved on them. He didn’t scoff at them, roll His eyes and treat them poorly.  He didn’t throw His hands up and say “Yeow, is this one ever a doozy” {actually, He may have said that while working on my heart, ha}.  What did Jesus do?  HE LOVED THEM! Is it easier to hear criticism from someone if they loved on you first? If they said it with kindness and you knew their heart was in the right place? You betcha! It’s all about love people. Gods greatest commandment was love one another {John 13:34}.

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.

Matthew 18:15



Now let’s get to the hard part, the actual judging. The Bible tells us that we are our brothers keeper and we are to care about each other. If we see someone in the church that is struggling, it’s our place to go to them in love and talk to them. In essence, judge. Honestly, what our “judging” should look like is being filled to the top and over flowing with love, caring and helpfulness. We all stumble and fall and we all need someone to help pick us up.

Is there a pregnant teen in your church? Take her to lunch, see what she needs, throw her a shower…SHOW her God’s love. Is there someone in your church having an affair? Go meet privately with them, tell them you know what’s going on and ask how you can help, direct them to a marriage counselor…SHOW them God’s love. Is there a new member of your church that is homosexual? Take them to lunch, get to know them, reach out to them…SHOW them God’s love. That, my sweet friends, is what our judging should look like.

Let me end this by saying I’m far from perfect myself and sure need lots of reminding from the Lord as to how my walk should be going. But thankfully His grace is new every morning. I just hope to maybe give a little honesty and hopefully open your heart to God’s direction.

Things I Wish I’d Known Before I Got Chickens

In this house, we are animal lovin’ fools. I must add, I was also born with a touch of farmer in me. So for years, having backyard chickens has crossed my mind. Every time I would bring it up, I was met with a resounding no. But this girl, she’s a persistent one! I guess I just wore them down until the answer yes {actually, more like an I guess so}.

I spent months researching different breeds, narrowing down what ones I wanted and one day I just took the plunge and ordered them. I just jumped in blindly with both feet. I kinda roll like that sometimes. I think that might be a quality of mine that drives my Mama nuts.

So, you’re thinking you might want to keep backyard chickens? Have you been doing tons of online research like I did? Once you’ve read all the articles, browsed all the blogs and bought the “backyard chickens for dummies” now it’s time for some just honest, self-learned lessons. Some lessons are just plain painful {and expensive} to learn by experience. So hopefully I can share some info here that will spare you from those.

Just do it. That’s my first piece of advice. Just take the plunge and get them. But first, check your local ordinances and zoning code regulations. I live in the country, so I didn’t really have any I needed to abide by. I know many forbid roosters and some even have a limit on the number you can have. I would also assume if you live somewhere that requires building permits, you might need one to build your coop.

If you’re buying chicks, remember vent sexing is only 90% accurate.  So even when you’ve only ordered females, you may get males.  I think we’ve all named a Lucy later to realize it’s a Ricky.  Chances are you will discover you have a male at some point too.  So if you live in a city where roosters aren’t allowed, have a plan ahead of time.

The average chicken has a lifespan of between five and seven years. This doesn’t mean chickens won’t live longer, however. My flock is still young {less than a year old} so I can’t speak from experience on this one.

Chickens have to be shut up at night or they will get killed.  We don’t allow our chickens to free-range, so we don’t have this issue.  They go from the coop into the run, which has a top cover on it.  Chickens are basically the snack food of the predator world.  Think foxes, raccoons and even hawks like to have a little evening chicken snack.  Be sure to lock them in a coop each night.

Some chickens are just mean. In fact, I have two mean witches in my coop right now. And if they don’t soon shape up, I have their walking papers ready. They are bullies and just love to pick on whoever is bottom of the pecking order.

Oh yes, let’s talk about the pecking order.  Even when they are chicks, you will see them chest bumping and stretching their necks out at each other.  As they grow older, this “fighting” will continue.  They are establishing a pecking order.  Every coop has one.

Chickens can deal with cold weather far better than hot weather. The body temperature of a chicken typically hovers around 102 degrees. Because they are wearing a down coat all year round, they will need access to shade and cool water at all times.  We placed our coop in a spot where all afternoon they have nice shade.

Hens will take a break from laying eggs in the winter months. Generally this is when they lose old feathers and grow new ones. Hens need about 14 hours of daylight to lay eggs consistently.  Although I have to say, my girls never stopped laying completely.  They may have slowed down a bit, especially on the extremely cold days.  But every single day this winter I got at least one egg.

Have what you need before they arrive. If you buy them as chicks, you will need to have a brooder set up. A brooder is a heated container that can have it’s temperature controlled. It’s used to house your chicks, with their feed and water, until they are 6 weeks old and ready to go outside. Although I will tell you, your chicks can’t move outside until the weather is warmer. I waited until the days were in the 60’s or better. So if you purchase during the winter months, get ready to have those babies in your house for a good while. Unless you have a heated coop.

Chickens do get sick and die. Good night, do I ever know this. We’ve lost 2 from our flock in less than a year. Local veterinarians probably won’t be able to help you either, as very few of them are trained to understand poultry diseases. You will have to either read up on your own or find other more experienced chicken keepers who can advise you. What I would suggest is joining a group, like Backyard Chickens. There are also quite a few Facebook group specifically for chicken owners. You have no idea how many questions I ask them. Seriously y’all, I bet they are sick to death of me. BUT that is the perfect way to find out what is going on with your sick chicken.

Chicken math is a real thing. You start out with 8 cute little chicks. Surely that’s enough, right? They grow up, move to the coup and start laying. Then Tractor Supply has chick days. And, I mean, you HAVE to go in there to get supplies. Hearing those sweet little chirps coming from the center isle. There is no possible way to walk past them without looking, unless you’re the scrooge and don’t have a heart! You see those little balls of fluff and instantly, you must. add. to. your. flock. At that point, it’s not even a question. Chicken math has already set in, and there isn’t any going back. Before you know it you have 8 in the coop, 4 in the brooder and just set 12 eggs in the incubator. Not that I’m speaking from experience or anything.

Chicken math may also branch out into other birds.  Such as pigeons, as we found out last summer.  We now have a pigeon named Tim living in our coop.  Fairly sure he thinks he’s a chicken, he gets right in there and fights for food with those big girls.  And I have to admit, I think Tim may need a wife.  I wonder if this is classified as pigeon math?

Your pullets (female chickens under one year) will start laying when they’re between four and six months old. Don’t be concerned if the first eggs will be small, they’ll get larger with time.  And let me tell you, those first non-egg months drag on.  Every morning I would trot to the coop, hopeful to see my first egg.  Nothing.  You see, I had this perfect little laying box set up for them.  And that’s where I expected them to lay. Then one night I was getting a little heat light set up for them.  I bent down to plug it in and could not believe my eyes.  There was a pile of eggs like you would never believe…13 of them!  They had been laying for days, and I missed it.  So also realize, they will lay where ever THEY want to, not where you want them to.

There will always be lots of poop. You just have to get use to it and not get skeeved out. One day I tended the chicks before rushing out the door to meet a friend for coffee. In all my rushing, I didn’t realize I somehow had poop on my jeans. Seriously, get ready for chicken poop for days. I’m still baffled at how one little bird can poop so much. Goodness.

Keep water and food bowls clean and free from funny-looking growth {and poop}. You have to clean their water container daily.  And as soon as you clean it, they will scratch around and throw nonsense back in it.  And usually some jokester will somehow poop in it as well.  I’m nearly convinced they do this as a way to drive me insane.  But seriously, keep everything clean in the brooder and the coop.

And last but not least, you will talk to your chickens. You will name them and talk to them like they are human. You will have your morning coffee with them. Or wait, that might just be me. You will take selfies with them and instagram them. You will notice their little personalities, and occasionally try to talk to non-chicken people about them. Those people have no desire to hear your chicken stores. These chickens will come running when they hear your voice, and your heart will flutter. They love me, they really love me ♡

Why I Write

Why do I write this blog?
The answer is really simple.

I write for Him.
I write because He has given me a passion and a heart for marriage.
I write for broken hearts.
I write because I stumble.
I write to help marriages that are hurting as well as help strengthen healthy marriages.
I write to help you enjoy and grow in the beautiful covenant that God created.
I write to let you know you aren’t alone. Ever.
I write because I’m not perfect.
I write to share that we all have our own story and our own past.
I write to share my pain and joy, my struggles and triumphs.
I write in hopes that my struggles will help you in your own walk.
I write to honor God with my words.
I write out of love.
I write because He nudges my heart.
I write because He is still working on me.
I write because He knows my heart.
I write because He has a plan for my life.
I write because He has called me to write.
I write to share love, not anger.
I write to heal, not cause conflict.
I write to share harmony, not criticism.
I write to speak truth that is sometimes hard to hear.
I write because I believe.
I write simply out of my absolute love for Him.