Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

What is a Princess?

Today I have something super exciting for y’all.  A guest post by Kimberly Miller from Crown of Beauty Magazine!
Growing up, I loved princess stories. I wasn’t a huge fan of pink or lace or frills, but there was a certain aura surrounding the idea of princesses that I was drawn to like a bug to light on a warm summer’s night. For the longest time, though, I couldn’t put my finger on exactly what it was about princesses that inspired me so. Recently, I decided to sit down and try to figure it out. Here is what I discovered:

A Princess is a girl in process of becoming a woman. She is either born or married into a royal family. She knows who she is, has confidence in her identity, and lives out an inspiring adventure + love story that changes her and the people she meets. She has a wealth of resources and talent that she learns to use for the greater good of serving those around her. She knows that with great power and privilege comes great responsibility; and no matter the cost to herself, she takes that responsibility seriously. She does not allow her weaknesses to define her; rather, she strives to overcome them with humility and grace. She truly cares about others. She is curious – a learner at heart. She is honest and gentle and determined. She isn’t perfect, but she tries to do her best. Even though she might struggle with fear, she refuses to let it keep her down, choosing instead to cling to courage because she knows that other things are more important than fear. She is beautiful inside and out.

No wonder I looked up to princesses so much growing up.

See, I was the polar opposite. A princess was everything I wanted to be, but was not. I felt like a pauper with poor self-esteem who had no idea who I really was, living a humdrum ordinary life that wouldn’t really matter in the end, full of fear and selfishness and pride. And to top it all off, I felt ugly – on the outside and the inside.

Praise God that is not how my story ends.

When Jesus came and changed my life right before my 16th birthday, He gave me a place in His royal family – as part of His Bride, a daughter of the Most High King. He took messy me and began the long process of transforming my caterpillar self into a butterfly. He did what I thought was impossible – taking my dark, ugly, emptiness, and turning it into light and beauty. He is the One who gave me wings to fly, who makes me beautiful, who helps me overcome my fears and insecurities.

Beautiful soul, you too are a princess. How do I know that? Because your daddy is the King of Kings, and you are part of the Bride of Christ.

Maybe you’ve always loved princesses, or maybe you’ve thought they represent an ideal you could never be. Take heart, dear one! Being a princess is not out of your league, and it is not something you have to earn. It is something you are and something you become.

If you are born again into the family of God, then Beautiful, you are both born and married into the royal family. It’s a done deal. Even if you don’t feel like you’re a princess, you truly are. You may feel inadequate, poor, or unlovely – but the thing about being a princess? You are one whether you like it or not.
You cannot change the fact that you are a daughter of the King. What Jesus did for you is done – it will never change. And what He did for you and me sealed our identities as princesses for eternity.

Let that reality sweep over your heart and breathe fresh air into your spirit. You are a princess! You know what that means?

It means that you belong. You have an identity that will not change. You can be confident in your own personality – princesses come in all shapes and sizes. You have an inspiring adventure and love story to live out. You have a wealth of resources and talents that you can use to bless others. You have a responsibility to serve others and share the Gospel. You are not defined by your weaknesses, and you can overcome them through Jesus’ strength. You can walk in humility and grace, caring about others. You can be honest and gentle and determined and curious to learn about this grand world the Lord has made. You don’t have to be perfect because Jesus already did that for you. You are free to do your best without worrying that it’s not good enough. You can overcome fear with courage – focusing on that which is more important than fear. And you are beautiful, inside and out. I mean it.

Girl, you have a royal birthright. Own your title and tiara! It’s yours, given to you by the Prince of Peace who is madly in love with you. Walk in confidence. You’ve got a purpose to live out and a part to play in this fairytale of life. Now that you know who you are, walk right into the adventure that He wants to walk you through. Don’t be afraid of the dragons, ‘cause your Prince is always by your side. And in the end? We’re all going to live happily ever after.
You can check out more from Crown of Beauty magazine at http://www.crownofbeautymagazine.com/

Becoming The Good Samaritan Wife

Do y’all remember the parable of the Good Samaritan?  Anytime I think of Bible stories like this one, that I heard as a child, I can help but replay it in my head in flannelgraph form.  This is a story told by Jesus to illustrate a point.  Let’s read the story:

In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’
Luke 10:30-35

As much as we like to think of our men as superheros, they aren’t immune to the attacks of the world.  They are the first line of defense for our family.  They get attacked and hurt.  They struggle and fall.  Their circumstances make them feel alone, just the way the enemy wants them to feel.

Attacks can look different for each man.  It could be financial problems, pornography addiction, health issues, alcohol or drug addiction, unfaithfulness or losing their way from Christ.  Every single one of these issues can leave husbands feeling alone, worthless and not knowing where to turn.

When your husband is the one hurting, laying alongside the road, do you rush to help him?  Or do you walk past, thinking “he needs to get over it”, “I just don’t have time” or “it’s not my problem, he did it to himself”.  It’s so easy to get caught up in our own selfish world, becoming just like the priest and Levite, and not wanting to stop and take the time to help our husbands.

Ladies, it’s time to become the Good Samaritan wife.

As we can see from the verses above, the Good Samaritan felt for him.  He bandaged his wounds, look him to an inn and took care of him.  Are you willing to do that?

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:18

As wives, we are each called to be our husband’s helpmate.  It doesn’t say we should only help him when things are running smoothly.  Being a helpmate is about so so so much more than that!  It is about helping to lift him when he falls. It is about lightening my husband’s load so that he’s free to carry the burden of leading and providing for our family. It’s about being a listening ear when needed. It’s about being his cheerleader. It’s about being whatever he needs us to be.

Pray. Pray about the situation. Pray about your reaction. Pray for wisdom and words. Stand in the gap for your husband while he’s hurting.

Love him. Show him mercy, love and compassion. Be understanding. Remember that we are all sinners. Shower him with grace and forgiveness.
Encourage. Encourage him with your words and actions. Tell him you love him. Show him physically how much you love him. Thank him. Let him know that you are his biggest cheerleader.

Listen. Let him talk and listen, like actually for real listen. Don’t just nod your head and say “mmhmm”. I may have been guilty of that a time or two. 

Heal.  Remember we are helpmates.  We should want to promote healing, not stir the pot.  Don’t feed into anger.  Instead, look for the positives and point your husband’s heart to the cross.

The Day The Numbers Started To Matter

I was the girl in high school who wore a size 12 but had curves…curves that I hated.  Those curves really caused me quite a few problems.  I was made fun of for basically any small flaw they could find…lips, booty, etc.  I spent my entire teen years wishing I was thinner.  Oh, the years I wasted not appreciating what I had.

I remember one day in particular like it was yesterday.  It was one of those spring days that make your soul happy…birds chirping, sun shining bright and the flowers were in bloom.  And I was having a “thin day”.  We all know what those are, right?  My hair was amazing, my outfit was cute and I was feeling good.  Yes!  It was basically one of the only days I ever felt comfortable enough to wear shorts to school.  I walked to the bus, smiling the entire time.  Today was going to be a good day.  I got on the bus and sat in the seat with my friend.  She looked at me and immediately asked a question.  How much do you weigh?  Oh boy, I’ve never been directly asked that before.  But she was my friend, someone I trusted, so I told her.  She was horrified by my answer, immediately saying she MUST go on a diet because she nearly weighs what I do.  And THAT is not possible.

And in that moment, the numbers started to matter.

From that moment on, I’ve hidden that number deep in my heart.  The only people that know it is God, myself and my doctor (who I’ve sworn to ultimate secrecy).  I could tell you story after story of people piercing my heart with their careless words about my weight…relatives, boyfriends and even strangers.

I am one of those girls that likes to pretend that words don’t hurt my feelings. I like to pretend I can just brush them off, smile and go on about my day. I take the hurtful words, cram them deep down inside and save them for another day. A day that I’m by myself and can pull those words back out and stress over them all by myself.  Hurt doesn’t have a time limit.  Words that were spoken 20 years ago still hurt just as much as if they were spoken yesterday.

But I’ve let those words, and that number, rule me for long enough.
There has been one common thread woven throughout all my weight loss ventures…scale obsession.  Those numbers mattered to me so much that I had to see them daily.  I just HAD to.  My daily mood would then hinge on what that number on the scale was. So many days I would see a bad number then rush to the kitchen to eat out of frustration and disappointment, horrible self-talk in tow.  This was a pattern that had to be broken this time.  
I eventually cut it down to once a week, but I would still sneak on it two or three times throughout the week.  Playing the same pattern I had when weighing daily.  This, my friends, wore me out.  My worth became what those numbers revealed.  
A few months back, I was having some God-talk-time.  Read this as a girl crying her eyes out at her Fathers feet, begging for help.  He revealed to me three things to specifically do some heart work on.  One of them…weigh once a month.  And this girl sat up and listened. 
One quote from the book Made to Crave really jumped out at me.

I am a Jesus girl who can step on the scale and see the numbers as an indication of how much my body weighs and not as an indication of my worth.

Wow.  Powerful, huh?  Actually reading that made my eyes overflow with tears.  That number had held me captive for so many years, feeling free of it was emotionally overwhelming.

This girl has actually went an entire month without weighing herself.  I know, crazy right?  There were days I walked past the scale and sooooo wanted to hop on it.  Instead, I prayed and gave it to Him.  And He gave me the strength to walk past it.  I will weigh tomorrow morning but I know one thing already, whatever number it shows won’t define me.  I am so much more than a number.

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
Philippians 4:13