Forever Beloved - Faith, Love & Truth

May 15, 2019

Happy Birthday to My Love

This man. You guys. Oh….this one, he’s a gift. He’s a gift to me every single day. But I’m so glad that he has so much abundance in him, because it just extends to everyone around him – including all of you. It’s so beautiful to witness that first hand each day. I’m wildly crazy about him. Still. And when a girl is wildly crazy about a man, it’s hard for her not to shout it out to the world.

He turns 46 today!!! So I’m going to continue the tradition and list 46 reasons (in no particular order) WHY I am totally, utterly and completely head over heels in love with him.

1. Watching you grow in your walk with the Lord, I love that so very, very much. It makes this tenderhearted wife teary. I adore your willingness and heart to help walk alongside other Christian men. I can’t even put into words how proud I was to watch you get baptized alongside our sweet babies.

2. You chose me, and that you continue to choose me daily, despite my imperfections and annoying habits. Even when I’m sassy, when I’m passive-aggressively making a statement about cleaning or when I’m irritated about something stupid.

3. You have always been such an amazing father. Watching you love our babies has been a complete joy. You love our kids with the most beautiful tangible expressions. And getting to watch your relationship with them evolve as they are now adults, such a blessing to witness.

4. Your voice still melts my heart after all these years. It instantly takes me back to that day 23 years ago…when you sing to me, I get tears in my eyes still. And for a moment, nothing else matters.

5. You make up for my weaknesses, covering them with your actions, demonstrating your love for me.

6. You have such a beautiful selfless heart.

7. I love that you hold my hand while you drive.

8. You amazingly lead this household. You’ve encouraged Christ entering our marriage, you’ve lead our home and gently guided me. You’ve shown me such grace even when I don’t deserve it, which I am so thankful for.

9. You get excited about the same simple country pleasures I do. Whether it’s a hot loaf of homemade bread, a new recipe to can, a late night 4-wheeler ride or baby squirrels living in our house.

10. When I see someone broken down along the road, I automatically know you’re going to stop. When we see someone in need, I know you will go to them. When we see someone eating alone, I know you will pay for their meal. I love that you’re always so willing to help others.

11. It doesn’t matter what size I am, you always tell me how beautiful I am. Not only do I absolutely believe you see me like that, you make me see myself like that too. You have no idea how much that means to me and how much I appreciate it.

12. You give me the most beautiful picture of Christ-like love in the way you pursue me patiently and never give up on me.

13. You know how important pictures are to me. You round everyone up and hop in the family picture without complaining.

14. You respect me as a person and as your wife.

15. This crazy chicken adventure we’re on together. And the grace you showed me when chicken math became a real thing. And when it continually becomes a real thing over and over and over again.

16. Still having a smokin’ hot marriage after nearly 23 years.

17. Your passion for music. It has such a special place in our love story. And how you’ve made it such a big part of our lives and now our children’s lives.

18. I am at rest with you, and when you’re away my heart longs for you.

19. I’m thankful for how good you are at geography. You know if it was up to me, we wouldn’t make it too far out of town.

20. You are my absolute favorite human.

21. You always know the absolute perfect time to give me a hug accompanied by “It will all work out babe”.

22. You explain football calls to me {and basically every other aspect of the game}. Even though you know perfectly well that I will interrupt the next game asking the same annoying questions.

23. Your constant, never-ending support of me. While others doubted I could make a photography business successful, you never doubted my abilities. When I said it was time to retire, you supported my decision.

24. I love your spontaneity and that I can ask you to go anywhere on a complete whim and you will! And that you’re willing to drive every single time.

25. Long summer 4-wheeler rides on those warm days. Which also means me sneaking in some snuggle time.

26. I’m so incredibly thankful God gave me such a handsome husband.

27. Even when your skin is melting off you still let me cuddle all night long.

28. You were always so willing to help me pack my car for every single newborn session and even accompanying me to the session if I needed an assistant. And the never ending weddings you assisted me with over the years.

29. You love self expression just as much as I do. I love our long conversations about tattoo ideas.

30. You make me laugh every single day.

31. Your knowledge of the news, politics and gun rights. You always know what is going on, which is good because I never do.

32. Your love of trucks equals mine.

33. You’re always so quick to apologize to me even though you know I’m not so quick (or good) at it.

34. I love this new season we are in life, almost empty-nesters. Our weekends away together are the best and I sure do love reconnecting with you.

35. We make a great team! We can work side-by-side doing any project, whether big or small. I love that you’re not afraid to tackle anything with me, no matter if it’s fixing the coal furnace, helping me glue flowers on a baby bonnet or navigating the streets of a new town with me.

36. With all my sicknesses, surgeries and hospital stays over the last few years you’ve never hesitated to jump in and take over everything yourself. Never once complaining of the extra workload on you, in addition to your full-time job. You are such an amazing blessing!

37. You know how important it is to still date me, to dance with me in the kitchen while I’m cooking dinner, to smack my butt when you walk past and to write me an occasional love note.

38. You’ve wiped away my tears, been a listening ear, and made me laugh at the stupidest things at the perfect moments.

39. You thinks it’s hilarious to chase me around the house or up the stairs. You laugh every single time. And, without fail, I will scream even though I know it’s you. And if I pee my pants you laugh even harder.

40. You put up with my indecisiveness and my constant inability to make it through a movie without crying- and you do it all with a smile and a snuggle.

41. All the little funny memories we’ve made together. Laughter has always been such an important part of our marriage.

42. You always know the right words to make me feel better.

43. You have such a sweet love and compassion for animals. And the fact that you don’t get mad when I tell you I may be hatching us out a few more chicks.

44. Your sweet, tender heart. Even though you have that tough exterior, I know that you are the sweetest caring man.

45. You are my rock, my joy, my constant reminder that God is good and that He had us planned from the start.

46. Simply because you are just you. The man I feel in love with 23 years ago. The man I still love madly, deeply, more and more everyday.

Happy Birthday sweet boy! I love you! Sharing my life with you is one of the greatest gifts of my life.

March 29, 2019

Just Between Us | When Someone Doesn’t Like You

Before I begin, you need to know something about me.

I’m a Type-A, listing making, notebook keeping, people pleasing kind of girl. I have a huge desire to make a good impression, be liked and be accepted. I want the parties I throw, the relationships and friendships I have and my business to all run perfectly perfect.

The thought of not being liked, wanted or welcome makes my heart race and makes it hard to breathe.

Those are the times when I have to force myself to step back and gain perspective. Not because I want to. But because I need to.

As I said last week, rejection is hard. And not being liked is a form of rejection. How do we handle it and now allow it to creep into our innermost thoughts? I’ll share with you a few key points to remember.

People didn’t like Jesus either.

I know, it sounds like a Sunday School lesson on the flannelgraph right? But it’s actually not only encouraging but comforting to read the countless stories of Jesus being rejected too. He gets it y’all. He understands what it feels like to be rejected. The sting and the hurt. Not only that, but He dealt with it perfectly. 1 Peter 2:21 says For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps.

There are things about you that are unlikeable.

Whew, that’s a hard one y’all especially for this girl. It takes a good bit of humility to realize I’m not perfect. I have to be honest and realize there are things about me that are pretty unlikeable. My loudness, my stubbornness and my quick temper sure aren’t my strong points. When we feel rejected, it gives us an opportunity to ask God to make those areas visible to us, to help us work on them and to trust His promise that He will completely restore every single ugly and broken area of my life, in His timing.

Let it lead you to Jesus.

We have to choices when we feel rejected, feel sorry for ourselves and get angry or go to the cross. We can choose to move away from Him or towards Him. And I remind myself that God will never reject me. God is not rejecting me just because someone else has. One of Satan’s favorite lies is that because someone is rejecting me, so is God. The truth is God loves me no matter how people treat me.

Don’t respond out of anger.

When I am rejected, and hurting, I can assure you my first response isn’t godly. I’m the first to admit I have a hot head and a fat mouth. This, my friends, has taken a lot of prayer on my end.

And with gentle prompts from Him, I’ve heard be silent and keep your eyes on Me. My first response was the opposite. My goal was to hurt them just as they hurt me. God is showing me how to let mercy and grace lead the way.

Healing is possible.

Take it to God and leave it at His feet. Ask Him to heal your broken heart.

The Bible never tells us to please other people. You can search through the Bible verse by verse, front to back, and you’ll never find those words in it. But what you will find is instruction to please God. He is the most important element in our lives. And when we live to please God that may mean not pleasing everyone around us. God is reminding me that He didn’t call me to live a happy life, but a life that honors Him. And while I’m going to fail over and over again, my desire is to live the life He has called me to live.

March 22, 2019

Just Between Us | Rejection

“I won’t be there”. Four words. Four syllables. A simple statement. And my life forever changed.

I reread those four words time after time. Suddenly, I wasn’t reading “I won’t be there.” I was reading, “I don’t love you anymore.“

The sting of rejection set in quickly. Almost instantly memories came flooding back.

Maybe it was the time I walked into the back of the kindergarten room, excited about playing in the big blue blocks with other 5-year-olds, and I was abruptly, unexpectedly shoved out and not allowed back in.

Maybe it was the time I was told I couldn’t be friends with someone because I was adopted, and that means you “don’t know where she comes from.”

Or maybe it was the time my best friend decided she fancied my boyfriend. I went to bed having a boyfriend, and woke to her having that same boy as her boyfriend. To this day, I still remember the moment she told me in Algebra class. I spent the rest of class peering out the window, sobbing. I knew, in that moment, our friendship would never be the same. That is what broke my heart the most.

Time after time, for some unknown reason, I experienced the sting of rejection. As I grew older, not only did I expect rejection, I began reading it into the actions and expressions of others. I told myself I was essentially unlikable and helplessly flawed. Perceived rejections only confirmed that conviction.

Repeated rejection is the breeding ground for low self-worth.

Thankfully, I also experienced evidences of self-worth – in the comforting words of my mother, in the warmth of my nurturing grandmother, in the encouragement of my life-long best friends, and most importantly, in the love of Christ.

Rejection is hard, isn’t it? Babies even cry when they’re rejected. I can tell you first hand, being an adult doesn’t make that rejection any easier. We are created with the desire to be loved and accepted just as we are. But we will all experience rejection at some point in our lives. People hurl flaming arrows of rejection at their family members, co-workers, and peers without a second thought not realizing the depths of their damage. Damage that can reach throughout generations.

Those first four words, I won’t be there, were heard six years ago. I’m going to be honest and open with you, I’m still learning how to deal with and process that rejection. Those were the words spoken before they turned and walked out of my life.

Throughout this process of rejection, healing and working to overcome the pain there are reminders the Lord has whispered as He brings healing to my wounded heart.

He is faithful.

God will never reject me. And God is not rejecting me just because my loved one has. One of Satan’s favorite lies is that because my loved one is rejecting me, so is God. The truth is God loves me no matter how people treat me.

Responding.

When I am rejected, and hurting, I can assure you my first response isn’t godly. I’m the first to admit I have a hot head and a fat mouth. This, my friends, has taken a lot of prayer on my end.

Forgiveness.

I’m going to be honest, I’m not a good forgiver. If there is one thing I’m good at, it’s holding a grudge. Actually, I might even be considered a professional grudge holder. Forgiveness, no matter who it is directed to, is something that just doesn’t come easily to me. Add in someone rejecting, and hurting, my children as well and it’s doubly as hard.

How do you forgive the one who caused such pain and created those deep, searing wounds.

What does Jesus say about holding a grudge? He commands us to overlook sins and forgive those who hurt us. He doesn’t ask us to do that, the Lord commands us to do that.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

But somewhere buried in our subconscious, we think the rules don’t apply to us. The pain we know doesn’t fit the requirements of forgiveness. We {read this as me} rationalize and justify our pain over and over again, talking ourselves out of forgiving.

And then we become resentful, angry, unforgiving and cold.

I am beginning with one simple statement…this is my opportunity to show them Jesus through me. To be kind and tenderhearted, expecting nothing in return.

Reaching out.

This one is hard for me. Whether I want to admit it or not, this girl can be so proud! That certainly isn’t an endearing quality. God’s Word has much to say about pride.

When we love our relationships, we should have no room for pride and arrogance to creep in. Regardless of who is to blame, when we are really serious about reconciling a relationship, we put aside our pride and sometimes that means being the first one to take the step towards restoration.

Forgiveness doesn’t always equal relationship.

Sometimes relationships flat-line and some are just toxic. I honestly just don’t know how to take a single step forward in a relationship that has dead-ended. Ones where there is no earthly way of moving forward. Where I just don’t know which way to go.

All I do know is this, we are to love one another.

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. John 13:34

I have to believe that forgiveness and love doesn’t mean we’re required to have a relationship.

Love doesn’t mean we walk back in. It doesn’t mean we forget. It doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and we aren’t thankful that the journey brought us out.

It means we continue to love, even from a distance. We choose the best for them, for us, for this time. We refuse bitterness. We refuse anger. We refuse to keep allowing our heart to stir. We become aware of our pain and we seek and find healing.

When you don’t know how to move forward, choose love. When there seems to be no earthly way of moving on, choose love.

Healing.

When we find ourselves in the midst of ripped pages and the reflection of a broken heart, it’s comforting to know He is already there. In all my broken places, God has turned a my mess into a holy offering by pouring Himself right in. He has never left me down. And now those cracks allow Him to pour right out.

I know in the middle of my messy mascara days, He’s busy writing an amazing story.

Beth Moore, in Praying God’s Word, said:

The rejected person who turns entirely to God and His Word can find glorious restoration and acceptance in Christ no matter what happens.

In this world we will no doubt experience rejection again and again. But if we keep our eyes on Him, He will restore our broken hearts and turn our troubles into triumph. Today I’m celebrating God’s faithfulness in bringing me through every rejection in my life and keeping me vitally connected to Him. Oh how He loves me – and you.