A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24
I grew up as an only child. Since I didn’t have siblings to love on (or fight with), I clung to my friendships even tighter. My friends were my siblings. I grew up being 100% devoted to friends. Having that mindset makes it even more difficult to lose a friend.
Relationships are important to all of us, whether we admit it or not. They’re a gift and a responsibility from God. But how can we build that relationship into a friendship that will last a lifetime? That’s what we’re exploring today.
Listen To Her: Oh, how we love a good listening ear. Actually lean in and listen to her. Try your best to understand. Don’t appear too busy, disinterested or try to shift the topic back to you. Every one of us needs a bestie with a great listening ear. Give her validation and empathy when appropriate. Be compassionate and sensitive. Cry with her, laugh with her, speak truth in love, encourage her and pray with her.
Tell Her What She Means to You: It’s easy to go through life assuming someone knows what they mean to you and the impact they’ve had on your life. But oh, how much it means to actually hear them say it. Tell your friends what they mean to you. How their act of kindness changed your day. That you are so thankful God placed them in your life. Let them know! We need to show gratitude for the sweet souls that choose to journey with us.
Spend Time Together: As I said last week, if we want long-lasting friendships we have to invest time in them. Familiarity breeds friendship! We need to make a conscious effort to carve out the time to put in the hours for that friendship to develop. Sharing life together in meaningful ways ensures intimacy in our friendships.
Enjoy Her Happiness: Jealousy, envy and competition have no place in a friendship. None. And if they are in your friendship, you had better get it sorted out quickly before your friendship suffers. So your thin and your friend is curvy? Your children get B’s and C’s but hers get straight A’s? Her husband gives her flowers and you wish yours did? Or your single and she’s happily married? BE HAPPY FOR HER! Period. You have to respect each other and be supportive, not undermining and competitive. We’re called to invest in, encourage, and build others up.
I am very grateful to have an amazing group of girlfriends, my heart sisters, who I feel totally at home with. Some go back as far as, well, let’s just say far back. A few I’ve made in the last few years or so. I love friendships where there is a mutual felt sense of being able to truly relax, be ourselves and know that neither of us would do anything to harm the other. It just feels safe. It’s like being wrapped in a fuzzy, warm blanket on a cold, winter’s day.
This week tell your friends how much they mean to you. Send them a little note card of thanks. And stop back next Friday for our next study on Biblical Besties!
