Forever Beloved

Faith, Love & Truth

ignite the fire of your marriage {kindness}

yesterday morning as i was blogging, i realized i had forgotten this weeks installment of the “ignite the fire of your marriage” series.  this week has been filled with such craziness that it absolutely slipped my mind.  so, off i went to see what this weeks subject was.
and i was floored.
kindness.  wow.  so, i think when you feel God is speaking directly to you, you had best sit up and listen.  the topic of kindness has rang through my household this week.  i made this post on sunday about being kind to your littles.  and tomorrows post on submission kinda sorta ties in with this as well.  

Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. 
 Ephesians 4:32

i think kindness could be boiled down to 3 little words…love in action.  when you are operating from a true heart of kindness, you will be extra careful how you treat your spouse.  you would never want to be unnecessarily harsh or hurt their feelings.  we need to be sensitive to their feelings and tender with our words.  even if you need to say hard things, we need to remember to speak the truth in love.

Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man
Proverbs 3:3–4

i think if we asked our husbands what they wanted, they would all agree on one thing…a girlfriend.  now, before you fly off the handle i certainly don’t mean another woman entering your relationship.  what i mean is, think back to those first months of dating.  when the only label you had was “girlfriend”.  you complimented him, asked him if he needed anything and pursued him.  you wanted to make sure he always felt appreciated.  you wanted to let him know, through your actions, how much he meant to you.  
then you got married.  and had babies.
now you are sleep deprived, the bills seem never ending, the house needs cleaned, dishes need done and does. the. laundry. never. end.?  the last thing on your mind is being your husbands girlfriend.  but, why is that?  why is it that it’s soooo easy for us to give our all to everyone around us and only give our husbands the left-overs?  
i want to be a wife who never stops pursuing my husbands heart.  i want to be a wife who makes sure, day in and day out, that my husband knows he is appreciated, wanted and respected.  i want to be a wife who has a smokin’ hot marriage.  how can i get that?
kindness.
a thriving marriage requires kindness.  it requires putting your own feelings, tiredness, sassy-mouth and selfishness aside.  it means intentionally showing thoughtfulness, compassion and sympathy to your husband.  these are the moments that will build more trust in your marriage.  the moments you can use to grow your love.  the moments that will get you that smokin’ hot marriage, yeow yeow 😉

don’t wait to be kind to your husband. don’t only give him the parts that are left of you at the end of the day.

be his girlfriend!

this weeks challenge…ignite the fire of kindness in your home this week. be intentional about showing your husband kindness this week. plan a date just for him, treat him to his favorite meal, honor him with your words, and make him feel incredibly special. 

where were you?

it’s funny how thinking back to that day you know EXACTLY where you were, what you were doing, what song was playing on the radio and what the weather was like. i was at work sitting at my desk when a woman came in and said “a plane just hit the world trade center”. at first we all thought it was just a stray plane that wrecked into it. it didn’t take us long to learn differently. soon after we heard of a second plane going into the other building. we all rushed to the only office in the building with a tv. i stood in that office, crammed full of people shoulder to shoulder, and watched as the towers fell. the room was completely silent as people tried to wrap their minds around what was really happening. we then heard of the third plane and we were told they were closing the building. i worked for a state agency so they erred on the side of caution and closed the building.

my first thought, once i realized we were under attack, was i wanted my babies in my arms. i wanted them with me so i could protect them. i wanted to hug and kiss them and keep them safe. i wanted to be surrounded by my family and have my husbands safe arms around me. i left work and went straight to pick my kids up from daycare. i took them home and spent the rest of the day snuggling and cuddling.

my son remembers this day differently, as one of my “not so stellar” mama moments. i was in a hurry that morning and was running late for work.  i had a toddler and a baby, mornings weren’t my friend most days.  i was rushing and shushed them in the sitters door and left, forgetting to kiss them goodbye.  i know, the thought of that now makes my eyes well with tears.  the sitter had the news on, as everyone in the nation did, and my son didn’t really understand what was going on.  he just knew it was something bad.  he spent the morning crying because his mama didn’t kiss him.  isn’t it horrible that he still, to this day, remembers that clear as a bell?  sigh.  what that did do was made me slow down and take that extra 10 seconds to kiss my littles goodbye, even if it meant being late for work.  actually, i still to this day kiss my kids before bed every night and before they go to school in the morning.

i was never more proud to be an american than i was that day. that evening we got out our american flag and hung it on our front porch. basically every home or business you drove past had either a flag hanging or a sign showing their support for america.

that day we bonded as a nation. that day we knew, as a nation, that we needed God, we needed prayer and we needed hope. but oh, how quick we are to forget. today, remember that day. remember how quick we were to fall to our knees and cry out to God. and thank Him, for everything.

ps…and kiss your littles.  always.

i am

i am a mama.

i am a mama who has, admittedly, gotten wrapped up in the lies the world loves to throw at us.  they love to target families, women and especially mothers.  children are a burden.  they are an inconvenience.  they are expensive.  they take up valuable time that should be yours.  they disobey.  they whine.  and they get in your way.

avoid having them.  if you do have children, limit yourself.  and don’t you dare have more than two.  if you do, the world will scoff and complain.  {prime example, the Duggar family.}  surely your possessions, money, pleasure and success are more important than having children.

oh, sweet mama’s, what i want to tell you today is something the world never will.  the work you are doing today, inside your home, is the most important work you will ever do.  and those children that disobey and whine?  they are a priceless, unique treasure and one of our greatest blessings in life.  a privileged responsibility.  a precious delight.  a gift directly from God.

take time to step out of the busy, crazy, face-paced life the world shoves at you to simply enjoy your littles.  snuggle them, laugh with them, look at the picture they drew you (really look at it), listen to what they are saying and just focus on being in the moment.  these are the moments they’ll remember.  these are the moments that will shape their lives.  they won’t remember how clean your house was or that all the laundry was done.  they will simply remember you took the time to be with them and love them.

don’t spend your life trying to be a perfect mama.  there aren’t any perfect mothers (or fathers), only great women who love their children to the very end.  through lost teeth, middle of the night sicknesses, bumps and bruises, packed lunches, tears and homework.  throughout it all, you’ve woven the thread of love.  and with that love you’ve been building something amazing…a legacy!

what you are doing every single day is oh-so-important.  those little nuggets of wisdom shared across the dinner table, during bedtime snuggles or while driving the car, those are what your littles will remember and pass on to their kids.  the wisdom you whisper in your child’s ear during a moment of crisis.  those words will someday be whispered to your grandchildren.

so today sweet mama, when your soul is weary and you feel less than perfect, know we are all there with you.  there isn’t a single one of us that is perfect at motherhood.  but what we are perfect at is loving.  through tears, sleepy eyes, throw-up on the carpet, diapers needing changed, dirty floors and uncooked dinners we always always always keep loving.  that is what we find perfection in.

you are amazing.

you are so, so very important.

you are a mama.