Forever Beloved

Love is not easy to put into words, especially a mother’s love, the depth of which is unfathomable.  From the very beginning, I knew you weren’t mine to keep.  When you were little, an amazing woman reminded me that you weren’t mine to keep, you had only been loaned to me by God.  And with that, I gave you to Him.  God’s grace is an active part of your life, has been from that day. His promises to us are your promises too.  They always will be.

From the moment you were growing inside of me, you’ve always done things your way and in your own time.  You weren’t going to let someone else decided what day you were bursting into this world.  You took your time, and decided two weeks later was a great time to make your debut.  Crawling, walking, talking…all done on your own time.  From the beginning, you were born with a desire to be different and stand out.

When I look at you now, gorgeous and confident, I don’t just see an seventeen-year-old girl, I see you in all of your life’s stages at once.  I see you as a newborn in my arms while I sing You Are My Sunshine, a blur of brown hair trying to catch her brother to bite him, the sweet little pig-tailed girl excited to ride the bus with her big brother and early Christmas mornings sitting on the stairs waiting for the okay.  And oh, how many times I watched you come down the stairs with the craziest outfits on we’ve ever saw, proudly proclaiming you were ready to go to Jesus {church}.  I remember a jean skirt with a chain on the side, the yellow dress of a 6th grade graduate, the cheerleading uniform, the proud new driver, and now, a beautiful young lady.The recent images run together in a blur.

Teaching you to drive – laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe and being so thankful none of us died.  A million scary movie and pizza nights.  Your Baptism at church, with your Dad and brother.  Sweet last good-byes said to a loving Great-Grandmother, Meme and Papa Puddin.  This Mama is so privileged to have enjoyed such focused time with my littles.  Long walks, shopping, pools, beaches, cooking, movies; transporting you and your brother to a million practices and back.  One thing we have always kept a priority…family time.  How blessed am I to have littles that enjoy it just as much as I do.

I cannot begin to count the many things you have taught me as I have watched you grow.  From you I have learned the power of a tender heart, filled with compassion and mercy, as I have witnessed your quiet kindness to others all of your life.  And in that tender heart there has always been a place for children with special needs.  I will never forget how upset you were when a boy with special needs was being picked on in school.  You immediately jumped in and put him under your wing.  If that meant you taking the teasing for him, you were willing to do that.  You developed an instinct and desire to protect them by going through your own struggles with Dyslexia.  You’ve never once been afraid to step in and defend someone when it was called for.  You are aware of how great and wide God’s love for you is and you share that with others.

Let’s be honest here, high school wasn’t always easy.  You entered a different person than you are leaving and there are scars to prove it.  Scars are like beautiful battle wounds, though – they remind you of what you have been through and how strong you are for coming out healed.  No one leaves high school without any scars.  I hope you know the moments you got hurt just make you normal and human.  You are better off for what those moments taught you about your strengths, your resilience and your inner toughness.

You learned what true friendship looks like and you chose to beat your own path.  You learned to be more concerned with your character and your integrity than your reputation.  You showed courage to stay you and not follow the crowd.  You learned to laugh at yourself and laugh with others.

You taught me how to find joy in the moment and to laugh at even the hardest situations.  You have such a gift of making others laugh.  Your sarcastic humor and ability to be completely random is a constant source of delight that lightens our days.  It reminds us to relax and not take everything so seriously.  Movie quotes and song lyrics, you’re fluent in those!!  We’ve laughed till we’ve cried {or peed your pants, in my case}.  You’ve always kept our household happy!

You used to have the most horrendous fights with your brother.  Oh, the fights…I thought they would never end.  It has transformed into the sweetest sibling relationship.  The bond you have is one of the most amazing, happiest, sweetest things to watch.

Each chapter you go through in life has a specific lesson that God, in His all knowing wisdom, sees that you must learn.  Painful chapters draw us near to Him, and joyful chapters let us rejoice in Him. Both are important.  God has a purpose and plan for your life Jadie.  Always follow His lead and He will take you amazing places.  You are God’s handiwork, crafted by Him and for His good pleasure.  He uniquely designed you to be you alone, comfortable in your own skin.  Never will there be another Jade.  Never will someone else impact the lives you have and will in the future as only you can.

Jadie-babe, I love you.  You have brought such happiness into our home, such unbounded joy, such faith.  I could not be more thankful for you and proud of the woman you have become.  Your character and integrity are important to you. You have been blessed with height and people will have to look up to you during your lifetime, the important thing is to make them want to.

And we love you. We love you in the knowledge that though our love is imperfect, flawed by our own weakness and fear, God’s love is pure, welcoming, and relentless. Where our love may not see clearly, God’s love cuts through the fog with clarity and truth. Where our love is strong, God’s love is stronger. And where our love in its imperfection may seem sometimes to hurt, God’s love – which is perfect – will always heal.