Forever Beloved

The absolute first attribute we see of this woman is that her husband has full trust in her. I think the King James Version is beautiful, it says The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  Oh trust, can’t we all agree that is such a crucial part of marriage! A solid marriage leads to success in and outside the home. Being trustworthy is such a blessing to your husband.

I was intrigued by the KJV version and what no need of spoil meant, so I dug a little deeper. Basically, he knows that his trust is not misplaced. He knows his wife would not do him wrong, ever.  In the winter, my husband works 2nd shift as a plow truck driver.   I remember reassuring him the very first year that I could handle our then, 12 and 10 year old, just fine while he worked long hours and many weekends. Though I was tempted many days to lock myself in the bathroom and call him crying, I wanted to support him.  I freed him by giving him full confidence that I could manage the home and make wise decisions with the children while he was gone.  Soon enough winter was over, everyone was still alive and he had fulfilled his dream of driving truck.

Character quality is very importance. A husband who has a wife who is solid emotionally and spiritually can rest on his wife’s steady support.  Not only does he trust her with his money, his children and basically his life…he also trusts her with his heart.

There are a few key areas where your husbands trust of you is extremely important.

Money

He needs to know that he can trust you with the finances.  And that you aren’t going to see an infomercial for a $199 juicer, be immediately drawn in and order that puppy quicker than you know.  Infomercials are my downfall.  If you have good advertising and convince me I need it, I’m all in.  I’ve had to learn what benefits us financially and what doesn’t.

Home

Strive to make your home a haven of joy and happiness for your husband to return home to at the end of the day. There is a quote by Martin Luther that I love…let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.

Faithfulness

Relationships with the opposite sex are dangerous.  Although in our minds they may seem harmless, many times they lead to feelings that shouldn’t be there.   It all starts with an innocent glance, a whispered phrase, a caring pat, a kind gesture, thoughtful word or gentle hug. A hurried hand squeeze or double-meaning kidding. These are the danger signals. They all seem so innocent and warm, but can turn dangerous in a flash.

Emotions

Anyone is vulnerable if their heart isn’t guarded; from Sunday school teachers to members of the choir. Don’t underestimate the enemy. We are all at risk. Every. One. Of. Us. Satan wants to draw you away from your spouse. He would love nothing more than to see you stray.

As a wife, you hold the key to your husband’s heart. I specifically remember when Joe and I were separated he sent me a text message that meant more to me than he ever knew. It simply said “you still hold the key to my heart”. Guarding love keeps your focus where it belongs. It protects everything that is important to you. You need to guard the love you’ve dreamed of.

Reputation

We need to remember that we all have our strengths and weaknesses.  Guard your husband’s weaknesses; don’t announce them to the world.  I definitely have weaknesses and I would be mortified and humiliated if my husband teased about it or loudly wished for someone with that strength.

We are called to speak the truth and earn the trust of others. We are to be faithful and enrich not only our lives, but the people around us as well.  Which ties directly into the next verse.

She brings him good, not harm, ALL the days of her life.  Where does this goodness come from?  It comes from her walk with God – it is a fruit of the Spirit.  Doing good is a part of her character. Who is she good to?  Her neighbors, friends from work or Bible study ladies?  Nope – first and foremost – she does good to her husband!

She doesn’t love her husband with conditions and she doesn’t hold grudges. How many of us can say that? Surely not this strong-headed girl right here. Forgiving love is a love that is securely rooted in God’s love for us. God wants our love to be sweet, soft-hearted and lovely. He wants it overflowing with forgiveness. By offering forgiveness, we are offering the grace that God has given us. The Proverbs 31 wife doesn’t cling to prior offenses, tucking them in her pocket to use later. She wipes the slate clean as soon as the offense happens. She knows that will not only set her husband free, but her as well.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13

She willingly cooks, cleans, does laundry, cares for the children and is frugal with their money.  She willingly submits, respects and praises her husband.  She willingly responds to his physical touch and seeks to satisfy him in the bedroom.  She doesn’t criticize and nag him over and over for the same flaws but loves him despite his flaws.  She knows the power of her words and doesn’t use them to harm him.

Proverbs 31 is a beautiful poem of the characteristics of a virtuous woman and noble wife. While the book of Proverbs was written by Solomon, in Chapter 31 there is a new voice. It’s a mother’s voice.  Proverbs 31 is what is known as an acrostic. From verse ten, each line begins with the first letter of the Hebrew alphabet. It is poetry written by a loving mother to her son.  She is telling her son what to look for in his life partner. Solomon wrote the advice his mother, Bathsheba, had given him. Solomon wrote it using his pseudonym name, King Lemuel. It’s not just wisdom given from a mother to her son, it’s God’s Word. It’s what we, as women, are to attain to. What we should strive to be. Let’s read through it’s entirely before beginning our study.

This week we’ll begin our study on verse 10. It begins with A wife of noble character who can find?  The King James Version has this verse as Who can find a virtuous woman? So what would this wife of noble character look like? When we look up the definition of virtuous, it says having or showing high moral standards and chaste. The definition of noble says having dignity and elevation. The Hebrew word chayil, translated here “noble,” or “virtuous” (KJV), means a wife of valor — a strong, capable woman with strong convictions. So set your standards and morals high ladies.

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
Proverbs 12:4

The second part of verse 10 says She is worth far more than rubies. Isn’t that beautiful?  This virtuous woman is so rare that when you find her, she will be worth more to you than rubies.  What else do we know about rubies?  They are rare and hard to find.  We are not called to be women of the world, who are very easy to find. We are to be rare and hard to find. God attaches a pretty high value to this rare, virtuous woman.

She is more precious than rubies: and all the things thou canst desire are not to be compared unto her.
Proverbs 3:15

Don’t get discouraged when you read all the Proverbs 31 woman accomplished. It’s sure easy to do reading all that. But we need to remember these aren’t things she did all in one day. This is what she completed over her lifetime. She drew all her strength from God and He enabled her. She fixed her eyes on Him and never looked elsewhere. Wow, what an amazing example for us to follow!
While I was doing my study, I was searching around the internet and trying to learn all I could about this amazing lady. I was shocked at some of the opinions women had of her. I saw comments like “this passage is all about women being slaves to their household and that it’s chauvinistic”. I guess I shouldn’t be shocked, we do live in a fallen world. But I’ve always saw the virtuous woman as a beautiful woman that I want to strive to be.

This chickie is far from a Proverbs 31 woman but it sure is my heart’s desire to be one. I believe if you love God and you want to be a Proverbs 31 woman, you absolutely can. But the only way to do that is by fixing your eyes on Him. Get in His word and read it. Spend time with Him. It’s going to take some time and there will definitely be some bumps in the road. There will be lots of heart work God will need to do on us to develop our noble and virtuous character. And those moments might be ouchie. He sure does love you right where you are but He doesn’t want you to stay there, He has much better things planned for you.

Come back next Friday to continue our study on this amazing virtuous woman!

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